manly mama

Lost my voice.

AGAIN.

argh

Manly mama.

At least one octave lower this time round.

wth

:)

Somehow,

I'm kinda starting to like my class.

After all that i've been through.

I guess,

i'm kinda blessed already..

As compared to the other batches and how horrifying things can get.

I'm quite lucky already i guess.

:)

Vroom vroom

Right.

I am stressed.

Lab work used to be my forte.

BUT.

I find myself screwing things up and not doing as well as what i expect from myself.

Remounting, dripping wax over my cast, never put my occlusal stops properly, dirtying my wax denture, redoing things, poking WAY TOO MANY holes in my custom tray(end up having an ugly tray with many poka dots as decorations), burning myself with the hot wax knife, waxing my finger hair using sticky wax.

How bad can things get?

Then.

I find myself being unable to remember things for the tests next week.

And

I haven't finish studying for them.

And

I don't have enough time for studying.

And

I find myself too slack.

THESE are bad signs.

I need to pull up my socks and buck up.

Stop being such a bitch KY.

ARGH.

I hate this.

I need my drive.

Vroom... vroom..

I'm not sleeping tonight

quarter life crises

went for clinic visit today.

simply amazed and in awe about the new technology used.

Omg, i doubt i can even afford one in my clinic nxt time if i were to have one.

Anyway,

I felt disheartened, but driven.

Disheartened that the meaning of being a healthcare professional is so easily lost to money.

Driven to make myself a better dentist next time.

Give my patients quality service.

Of course, i bet i will be disheartened too when what i do is taken for granted or even scrutinised..

And i bet i won't survive very well in this world full of politics and where your talking skills are more impt that ur actual skills.

But well,

I always believed that if you're good enough, you don't need to go around and wayang with people.

You'll be just gd enough even without that.

Perhaps what i am experiencing now is a quarter life crises.

Unsure of what to do.

Unsure of what i really want.

I hope i find myself again.

To what i stood so firmly for just 1 yr ago.

argh

I realise i have no more drive.

No more.

It scares me.

I also dunno how.

And i actually feel tired.

Not a good sign.

And.

i sprain my wrist.

Gosh, i dunno how to do lab work for the next few days.

pig trotters.

argh

roar

i like to talk to my juniors.

sometimes more than my classmates.

i wonder y.

nvm.

shall let it be.

got 2 tests in 1 week's time.

and on the same day.

jia lat.

stereotypes

somehow...

i'm curious to know where those stereotypes come from.

I'm curious about what others think.

But a part of me just tell me to be myself.

somehow....

it's ironic.

When you're telling the truth, nobody believes. When you're saying something false which the person believes is true, they believe you.

heh.

ok. side note.

watching tv.......

me: brrrrrrr(farted)
mum: what the hell is wrong with ur stomach?
me: er.. i farted? what else do u think that sounded like? hahahahaha
mum:.........................................................

ok.


i don't really like the stereotypes given.

Perhaps when i play, nobody's around to see it.

Misunderstandings...

Nevermind,

shall let it be.

Can't change it anyway.

They just don't know me well enough.

For one, they don't know how often i fart.

hahahaha

brain fried

I dunno why.

But i'm feeling a lot of displeasure about many issues.

But i can't pinpoint exactly what it is.

I'm just...

thinking about too many things.

brain is fried

please please

Pray hard.

Please let my cousin pass her exams.

please please.

Don't make her retake.

hostility. my fault?

Maybe i'm thinking too much.

Maybe i'm being too tactless?

I don't know. but somehow, i'm kinda facing hostility from some pp.

i can't think of what i did wrong.

As in.. i racked my brains but really have no idea leh.

hmmm.

just had a test today.

brain drain.

shall rest early and pack my room

:)

一年了。

好快好快。

来不及呼吸，来不及思考，来不及回味。

人越老，日子似乎过得更快。

是有那么一点可怕。

突发奇想。。。

如果我得这么样的活到老。。。

我该怎么做。

我会怎么做。

日子会怎么过。

好多好多的也许。。。

或许什么都不会发生吧。

谁也不知。

更何况是我。

no no no

I hope what i dread most is not going to happen.

Not in school, not at home, not to me or anyone around.

No no no..

please don't let it happen.

Once is enough.

I hope things won't happen a second time round.

At least not for the bad ones.

I hope that wishes do come true.

hmmm..



Please don't let it happen.

conversation with my parents

my parents were kinda high last night. i have no idea y.

mummy: look at the baby(my neighbour's one)
ky: Ya, so cute leh hor..
mummy: cute ah, go and have one yourself la.
ky: not funny....
mummy:check out the arms, so cute leh, fleshy fleshy ones..
ky: yaya. so cute
mummy: ur arms uses to be exactly like that u know
ky: erm.... is that a compliment or...

papa: hehe, u see the wong kan seng, so short hor.
me: which one? don't have la, short meh?
papa: hahha. short short
me: eh, who's that minister nxt to GCT, kinda short leh.
papa: WKS la.
me: omg. really short leh.
papa: haha. short short
me: haha. nvm la, short but cute leh.

and the evening was spent commenting about his height.

me: mama, i've become so dark leh, how ah.
mummy: today's better than yesterday loh. yesterday u looked as if u're drunk. and u look like zhu gan.
me: zhu gan( bamboo pole?)
mummy: no. is zhu gan( pork liver)
me: omg

haha

rag 08

I finally felt the pride of being in dentistry after such a long time.

Though i've always been complaning, i felt very very touched when the year ones put up such a great performance and also, the dedication and hard work almost everyone put in.

It's so great to finally be able to sing the dental anthem together with the year ones, and feeling really proud about it.

I've never felt this way in dental school before.

Really.

Knew more people, knew them better.

I really hope to break out of the vicious circle soon.

And....

I hope....

It's a secret.

:) heh

OH yeah, i felt really happy when i heard science and pharmacy winning. Somehow, i was still rather envious to see all the science people gathered together, cheering together. And for the pharmacy people. i really see them working extremely hard this time round and i am so so happy for them that they won.

GOOD JOB THERE!

1 year already

Somehow, i find myself going round and round in a vicious circle.

Things improved, then go down the hill again.

Just last week, I have no idea why, but i just kept getting shitty remarks and responses from a few people.

Right.

Even from those i don't expect.

And it's when i wasn't doing anything to them at all.

Even talking to Zach, i got to hear remarks...

Yes, you can say it.. but at least spare a thought for my friend.

Think of how he will feel about it.

We are from different faculty,

But is there a need to amplify differences?

1 year already.

Nothing has changed.