Change

I realise as people grow older,

their mentalities change, attitudes change, priorities in life change, the way we deal with things change, the things that we focus on changes too.

Behaviours change, friends change, environment changes.

We meet new people, we deal with new things, we handle different situations under different conditions.

Hence,

people change.

And perhaps,

that'y why inter-personal relationship changes too,

be it within a family, between families, between friends and the new strangers that we meet.

Some people become more out-going, some people become more withdrawn.

For those who became more withdrawn,

perhaps, they lost faith in human nature,

perhaps, people drift apart so quickly,

that they feel awkward trying to maintain contact,

perhaps,

they find themselves losing the ability to communicate with others,

to accept differences, to welcome changes, to regain their trust in human relationships.

Or maybe, being with oneself is easier and less cumbersome as compared to dealing with people,

less chances of conflicts, and more freedom to do things as desired.

Perhaps to them,

Drifting apart is better than direct conflicts.

Although the effect of the former is usually worse,

cos it slowly creeps in and overwhelms you, making you lose all the desire to regain things back to their original states.

People do change.

Have you?

...

1 last week.

A rather hectic one.

What a bad end to my hols.

Argh.

If only my hols are longer.

Flabbergasted

Utterly flabbergasted.

Thoroughly disappointing.

Totally disgusting.

If possible,

bear with it.

If impossible,

ignore it.

Time flies

The weather is so hot.

I kinda like it. Just maybe not when it's so hot that i wake up sweating.

It's officially 1 more week left.

Should i read a lil stuff?

OR should i enjoy myself before my 4 weeks of special term starts.

I wonder...

Somehow, i feel that i've not enjoyed myself enough.

4 weeks..

Somehow looking back,

bangkok trip seems so far away,

Then it was the day to the airport.

And before i even knew it,

I'm back in singapore.

Time flies so quickly.

why

I don't know why.

Sometimes i feel that i'm not doing enough.

To fulfill my responsibilities, to improve in just anything.

I wonder if i am doing enough.

I just don't have the drive nor the mood to do so.

Perhaps that's complacency,

or i'm just satisfied.

Maybe i'm just escaping from it,

or that i don't want to face it.

Maybe i', afraid. but of what?

I do not know.

Maybe i don't care.

But that will be scary.

Perhaps i'm just being a self centered good for nothing.

Perhaps.

But i hope the last case is not the case.

Time

Time flies...

Precious precious precious Holidays

I can't believe it.

My holidays are ending soon!!!

I dread the day when my holidays end.

Apparently, i have 3 tests right after this.

1. Human resource management test
2. Op tech test
3. Occlusion test

ARGH..

I HATE IT...

why can't my holidays be slightly longer?

And.. can you believe it..

THe longest holidays we're going to have is this 5 week holidays which is ending soon in 1 week's time!

The next holidays will be around 3 weeks.

argh

I'm not enjoying my holidays enough.

School is going to start soon.

Just 1 and 0.5 weeks more.

And before i know it...

Year 2 will be here.

The scary 2.

And i jsut got to know that during special term......

It's very likely that we'lbe having tests and exams too.

I am starting to dread school.

Really.

I've not enjoyed myself enough..

I've worked hard.

And the holidays seem to be so short they don't justify the hardwork i've put in.

I know i'm gonna miss my school holidays so so so so so much.

Day 3

Alright, now is the update of my day 3 in bangkok.



Woke up late, at 1130 pm. oh my gosh.



Went out and jalan jalan around.. As usual, we ate a lot.



While we were having lunch at this road side stall(again), we met a group of drenched singporeans. guess what.. it's the SONGKRAN.



Yes, the water festival. While i was on the taxi at a traffic junction, there was a group of local who actually opened my door and splash water.. crazy la.



We walked around and looked around. not many shops are open, but ok la.



Went to this place which looked like a pasar malam and tried the barbequed bananas. Wa seh.. it sucks.. it's really not nice, though it looks nice. Luckily, i still have my big bag of banana fritters. heh.

The banana fritters rocks la.



I got splashed at this place, well, this guy saw me and ran towards me.. sensing that there was no where to run to, i squat down and let him splash. cos bo bian.



heh. cooling in the hot weather.



Went off the chinatown and i slept at this chinese restaurant like place while the other 2 gluttons ordered a bowl of shark's fin each and savoured every drop of it. Smells good, but i don't eat shark's fin la.



At night, we went back to silom and caught the cabaret show.



Argh.. not my type of night entertainment. So demeaning to see the girls do acts like that. And the caucasians i saw there... they are like enjoying and using money to get the girls to do more of the demeaning acts. Utterly disgusted by them.



Alright.. finally we left the cabaret place and tried walking back to the skytrain station.



But alas, it's so packed and crowded. It's like walking along Orchard road during christmas eve, only worse.



We can't even walk properly and it's so dangerous.



People drenched in water, sweat and er, this white stuff which is like goo and they spread it on pp's face. Kinda disgusting la.



Finally got back to the hotel region and me, starving already, went into this german bakery and bought quite a lot of bread and what not. I must say the pig's ears are good.



We went to This family mart later on and bought a lot of microwavable food. heh heh..



Finally, we're back in the hotel devouring our food, and i even caught a late night movie on HBO, " the lady in water"



Absolutely nice



Woooo...

The next day, we'er on our way back to singapore.

An fantastic trip. Absolutely fun and most of all, relaxing and stress free.

Project Lokun

Sometimes i feel disheartened.

By how self proclaimed "healthcare professionals" are more interested in their own welfare and fun..

And not in helping the others when we can.

Nevertheless, i've chosen this path.

To go cambodia for project lokun for 5 days.

Though the team currently has only 3 of us( 1 each from year 2 and year 3) and i'm the only girl for dental team(who cares)..

And that ridiculously we do not have any dentist in the team..

I wanna do my best to make it turn out well.

Jia you loh...

At least i know i'm burning my nights and spending my time doing the right thing and not only concerned about having holidays and travelling( though they are nice things to do)

Jia you.

Hope all things goes smoothly for the 3 of us.

Injured

My mom's kinda injured.

Somehow we don't know what has happened.

No falls, no knocks, nothing at all.

Yet it's painful to walk.

Painful to even move her leg in bed.

The doc say's it's nothing serious.

But i seriously do not trust him. And this is not because he's a chinese doctor.

But i mean linking flu to a pain in the leg region seems a little far fetched.

I hope it's nothing serious.

It's painful to see her like that.

NJ

Looking back at some pictures taken by the others back in the good ol' NJ days.

I realise..

I miss NJ.

I miss the old stinky but ever so homely and messy band room.

I miss the lecture shit and the stairs.

The spaghetti and the yong tau fu by the uncle and the auntie.

My crazy class.

Bullying and pissing ash in a partnership with siew han.

Going for labs, STaR and handling OOoh so many things at the same time.

Reaching school before the sun is out and leaving when the sun's down.

Running to parade square cos the band's late.

Crapping with the class and getting all kinds of nonsense

Unbeatable horrendously loud and terrifying laughter from the class.

Floorball and the gym as the battlefield.

Making Fadz scream just because of a small worm on fadhli's head.

Scandals and more scandals conjured up by the class.

Band practice and the seniors.

The hong kong trip back in 2005.

I miss all those things that has got to do with NJ.

I really miss my NJ days.

If only i could turn back time.

Hai.

Blessings

Sometimes,

When things don't go the way i hope they would have, I am upset.

I began to feel dejected, sad, depressed and all the negative feelings that comes along with it.

But i guess spending more time living makes me understand things better, makes me more tolerant(though still not very) and be more receptive of the things that is happening around me.

Now, when things don't go the way i wished they would, i've learnt to see it in a different light.

Sometimes automatically, sometimes it takes a bit of persuasion to do so.

I've learnt to tell myself that somethings are just blessings in disguise.

Somehow,

I'm happy about the way how things have developed, about the decisions made(either by me or by others), about how things have turned out.

I suppose when enough time has come,

I will be able to see things in better light, in new perspectives,

And be able to walk out of it soon and fast enough,

accept it and take it in my stride.

And most importantly.....

Be glad and contented that it has happened that way.

Somehow..

Blessings are always around us, just that we may not necessarily see it all the time.

Travelling

I'm so into travelling..

Been looking up potential places which i can travel to a cheap prices.

STA travel seems good.

But then..

Not many people are free.

And i really dun wanna spend so much money.

My main focus now is to enjoy myself and experience the life elsewhere.

But before that..

I need to get a new camera soon.

Hmmmm

How i wish i have endless amount of money.

How i wish i have more time for the holidays.

Maybe i should wait for a few more years till i get a job(bond to be exact).

Maybe i should start saving up for a europe backpacking tour.

Mundane hols

Been doing nothing much.

Sleeping has been taking up almost 1/2 of my 24 hours daily.

Finally drew up a list of things to do.

But i'm reluctant to complete them.

I really need this holiday.

But i need an exciting one.

Not something so mundane and boring.

Ample rest? I bet i've got more than enough.

Exercise? I guess i gotto start on it real soon.

Reading for next sem? Something tells me to NOT do it, cos i'll lose all the zest in me IMMEDIATELY.

Organise line dinners etc? A little lazy to do so.

Shopping? Reluctant to spend money.

Tuition. Tomorrow.

Anything else?

I can't think of anymore.

My brains are fried.

All those things which i wanted to do during my exams.

I can't remember a single one of them now.

This sucks.

I need to stop hibernating soon. Hibernation cuts my day so short, and wastes so much of my time.

But then again,

If i wake up THAT early, what can i do?

Nobody seems to be free.

That's the thing.

..

Suddenly,

I just feel like back packing.

To many different places, experience many different things.

Been feeling this way for a almost a year.

But obligations and more obligations.

Studies and what not..

I really want to travel.

Trip 2

Day 2.

Woke up at 7 plus, eager to eat the breakfast buffet. Though the breakfast didn't have a lot of variety, but i must say that the food is simply great. The pork porridge is superb.. nice nice. Ate a bit of stuff and went back to get ready to go out.

First stop for all of us was Chatuchak.

It's simply insane.

TOO MANY THINGS TO BUY, SUPER CHEAP AND SUPER BIG.

We spent like the whole afternoon there but couldn't finish walking. Got to rest for a fair bit cos my legs were aching fo much i couldn't walk anymore. The things are really cheap and there are so so so so many shops around. Crazy.

Oh yeah, took a sit by the road side while resting and tried this ice thingy. It's ice shavings which was so fine and so sweet. Topped with roasted peanuts and peanut sauce. At the bottom, there was coconut bits too. Heavenly...

The cats and dogs at the pets section were so super cute. but kinda poor thing is that they are all feeling so hot and i bet many of them are suffering from heat stroke and dehydration. Pity them, those little ones.

Went back to the hotel to rest a bit and swim a little.

At night, we went to have a GOOD dinner at Suan Lam night market.

Seriously, there's nothing much to buy there and the things are much more expensive than Chatuchak. It's like 3x the price for a same top i got in Chatuchak lor.

But the food is great. I had pineapple rice, then we ordered tom yam soup, vege and green curry as well as grilled squid. This lady, i bet she's from singapore, gave us a free dish which is the nicest of all.

Pork knuckles fried to such perfection that the meat is not like meat, but is actually crispy and crunchy. Wao.. so nice of her to give that to us. She said that the person took the wrong orders and she wouldn't be able to finish it by herself, so decided to give it to us instead.

After that, more shopping, but i bought mostly food for my family la..

Air dried vaccuum packed durian which is super nice, crunchy rice crackers with pork floss and some candy.

Like what i said.. this trip was mainly a foodie trip and not a shopping trip.

Heh.

Bet i've put on a fair bit of weight AGAIN.

haha

school's starting

Just came back from drinking at my cousin's husband's friend's house. hehheh

Took choya.

My first successful erm. glass of alcohol. Though mixed with loads of green tea.

But i must say it's nice.

Am glad that i bought the choya royal honey from DFS yesterday for my mom. haha.

Well.. to think about it, i only have 2 more weeks of holidays.

Argh.. that is so darn terrible. After this, hell is coming because i will no longer have any more holidays and YEAR 2 is coming.

Yeah. the terrifying, hectic 2. Already i'm getting freaked out by the stress levels.

And i want to do so much things during the hols which i haven even started!

Oh yeah, got to collect books from my seniors and got to buy books for year 2 too.

Looking at the sheer number of books and how pricey they are... I'm gonna be so so so so so broke. Each book's price is like "OH MY GOODNESS" and i have quite a couple of books to buy.

Holy Molly..

Trip 1

Finally back from bangkok yesterday. A short trip, but absolutely fun and erm.. yeah. tasty.. heh heh.

So.. let me start with day one. As the photos aren't ready yet, please bear with the length of the various entries. i shall start on day one and i'll do it daily.

Touch down at bangkok international airport and headed for our hotel( actually serviced apartment). It's kinda new and absolutely worth the price, with good service, rooms in great condition and a cheap price(in my opinion). The only thing bad is that it's a little far from the train stations.

My first meal is a absolute yum yum.. I had it by the road side. For this trip, i totally ignored the fears of food poisoning and had loads loads of food from the stalls by the streets, many times, i took my meals by the road side with the cars zooming past.My first meal was noodles in chicken soup. aye, didn't get to eat it a second time before i came back. my biggest regret of the trip la..

After which we walked towards the train station and on our way, ate a few other barbequed stuff. I had chicken and it's delicious. yum yum.. taste a little like teriyaki chicken though. heh

Oh yeah, i must comment about the traffic situation there. Horrendous. Nobody paid much attention to the zebra crossings there and the cars travel at high speed, cutting lanes like nobody's business. heh. The sky trains are good though, just like our local MRT here.

We travelled to a few shopping centres and oh lala.....seems like far east square with lots of things to shop.. but there aren't much fitting rooms in the shops though and for this pair of pants, i had to wrap a sarong like thing around my waist and change.. wa.. my gosh.

I didn't buy the pants though.

Went to siam square and OH MY!! so many things to buy and see!! I ate some fried chicken and prawns we got from the road side. Wa.. It's a MUST TRY.. it's so so so good.. much better than any deep fried K** chicken in singapore.( talking about that, i have a craving for K** now.)
Bought some chewing gum and walked around, shopping and more shopping. But didn't buy much.

I bet i ate more than what i bought.

We walked somemore and got a little tired. There's so much to shop and the things are cheap but my legs just couldn't take it. I didn't buy a lot though, cos not really my type.

Since we're all kinda tired, we went back to the hotel for a swim and after that, went out to shop again. To this place full of cheap things at silom. Wa seh.. it's really cheap and nice. With lots of variety. Lots of road side stalls but we decided to eat at this er.. kopitiam like place.

Didn't really know what to order, so we just did it the " anything is also fine" way.

The result:

ALL extremely spicy food. It burns your throat and your tongue. It triggers the nociceptors on your tongue like mad and i bet it must have caused allodynia or analgesia. heh heh. It's so hot.... my lips were red like those taiwan sausages. Ohh la la...
Too hot. NOT shiok at all, cos it's so hot i can't even taste the food.

After which we went to shop some more before we went back to the hotel.

My legs are giving way and oh my...tiring ah.

Shopper's paradise. But i didn't buy much la. cos the things aren'y really my type and i wanted to spend less money on shopping, unless i'm sure i'll wear those things or use them. Thus, most of my money was spend on my fave.. FOOD and more FOOD.

Oh yeah, recieved a few congratulating msg on the trip. Was initially wondering what on earth happened. And my classmate told me i've got 3 distinctions, meaning i passed all my distinction VIVAs?!!!!! OH lala ... that's absolutely great news.

The only thing that puzzles me is that.. hmmm. how come they got to know my results before i even knew mine? I thought a password is required to assess our personal results? Puzzling leh.

Yeha.. got 3 A+ and 1 A- for my results. the A- being the physio lor. Didn't get called for viva for that. aiyah... but nvm la.. happy liao. :)

But it's absolutely good news to add on to the exciting and fun trip.

Ok, stay tuned for day 2 and 3. :)

unhealthy

un healthy.

Unhealthy lifestyle seems to have taken control over me.

i sleep at 4, wake up at 2pm.

And i've been having indigestion, not taking enough fruits and water for days.

Wa...........

But still,

i'm having a stress-free life (kinda)

so it's alright.

I just need to visit the toilet more often.

p.s:

Master siew, wad are u guessing about? hahah.
Don't luan luan lai ah..
lolz

:)

Nothing much to worry about.

I'm kinda enjoying myself.

At least there aren't as much things to worry about now.

but perhaps.

Simply because i have more time,

I'm beginning to indulge myself in things i've stopped doing a long long time ago.

Sometimes i do wonder whether i should be doing it.

Since i jolly well know that it's not going to turn out the way i hope it'll be.

But sometimes,

perhaps doing somethings like this,

makes me happy.

And gives me something to look forward to everyday.

But then,

I hope it doesn't become a habit of mine,

cos ultimately,

school's gonna start.

And i got to focus on studies again.

But still,

I want to be happy for this holiday.

And of course.. carefree.

Thoughts

Sometimes, I do wonder about certain things, certain issues...

And i am puzzled as to how things work and why certain things happen...

But perhaps as i grow older, i no longer have as much time to think about these.

Maybe that's why i no longer pursue it nor think about it anymore.

To the point where i don't even think it exists anymore.

Or perhaps that only applies to me.

I use to believe in certain things.

But as time passes, belief turns into disappointment.

Till the point where i don't believe in it anymore.

When things happen repeatedly.

I get tired.

I get numb, and i become indifferent to it.

I don't think it is a need anymore.

More like a want.

I don't trust it, nor do i believe that it will actually happen.

But sometimes perhaps there's still this flicker of hope in me.

And maybe that explains why i still think about it, though rather rarely.

Not sure whether should i be happy or not,

But even these rare occasions seem to be obscured by a thick layer of fog.

And are sometimes reduced to moments of staring into emptiness.

Perhaps.

One day, i won't even think about it.

Or maybe,

I won't even think that it exists

Or perhaps

I won't even know what it is anymore.

Nothing special about this, just some thoughts.
No need to read too deep into it.
Nothing special about it.

bored

There seems to be so much that i want to do.

But i have no idea how to go about doing it.

And it's been raining in the afternoons lately, almost everyday.

I've been wanting to go under the sun for so long, kayaking and what not.

Been such a long time since i've last had a good time under the sun and getting sun burned.

I like the feeling of being sun burnt.

shiok.

And i need to get my books from my senior soon.

And get a new luggage.

My mind's been thinking of this hard case luggage i saw before.

Only wondering if it's expensive and durable or not.

Oh.

I've got a new hair cut.

Boyish cut.

A change which i welcome.

heh

hols

I feel lost suddenly.

Exams have just finished and i'm officially having my hols.

But i just have no idea where to go.

Been stuck with my books that i guess i need some time to adjust to normal life again.

But then again,

there are still some errands to run.

Line dinner, alumni mentor meet-ups and just got a msg from senior to collect YEAR 2 books from him.

Huh..

i just ended year 1 and he can't wait to give me year 2.

No space la...

oh yah.

still have 2 library books at home.

and i'm going out after this post.

Cut my hair, take my hep b jab which i've been procrastinating for since august.

I can't wait to go overseas.

And i seriously am tempted to go hong kong or redang for a day or 2 on back pack.

But company does matters.

And bad thing is...

Dental holidays are just not together with other faculties.

And I really don't have much mood to spend money nowadays.

Been not collecting pocket money for about 1 month.

And i am still surviving.

Ok. shall prepare to go out now.

As i am typing away, this irritating fly keeps targeting my face.
Feel like smacking it.
Only that it's too small.
Nonetheless, it is irritating.
And i just bathed.
Don't be rude.
lol

stellate reticulum

I tink i kinda screwed up oral b today.

The wait was intense, scary.

Heart pounding.

ANd when it was my term..

I did alright initially.

then i went down hill

Stupid enough to say that enamel is stellate reticulum.

Dumbo.

How can the 2 be the same?

Stellate reticulum as enamel.

Yeah right.

I must have been blind