Wassup saturday.

I hate lizards. Just as i though i could have a good night's sleep and wake up at 6.30 today.. this lizard appeared in my room.. so.. everything dragged till about 3.30 am before i could close my eyes in peace.

And yeah.. finally i'm finishing my first round of biochem file..

Man.. it's so dreadful.

I wonder how much information i actually retained.

This is gonna be a long long journey for me.

I'm getting kinda worried for my 1st year BDS already.

Help.

Ok.. hope tomorrow's a better day.

Parents out for wedding dinner, i simply refused to go. haha.

I'm craving for chocolate ice-cream.. and i've been home for 1 week.

WITHOUT stepping out at all.. man.. my butt's gonna burn and boil after this 7 days lor..

sian.

Lizard dance

Ok.. my mum and i just did the lizard dance...

Attempting to shoo the lizard off from my door.

well.. it just appears like we're 2 idiots waving papers and jumping at the door.

And then we started to laugh at each other.

The thing is... the lizard remains there, as if it's watching a comedy show.

Right..

Lizards make us look dumb, that's why they should vanish from this world.

By the way, this is my collection of teeth. the jar on the right is mine while the one on the left shows my cousin's one.

Note the comparison.

haha things people can do with their jars eh??!!!

Argh... argh.. ARGH!!! (*)&(%#$&^%(@)*#R()@&#@#(HA*(Y@K#&G$

I must sleep at 12 already. I need to stop sleeping at 3 am and waking up late pass 9 am.

It is not good.

I need to be more productive.

And i need to see all the lizards in this world vanish into thin air.

Argh....

Having bad mood and feeling damn it irritated and frustrated.

I need to scream out loud.

I need shout vulgarities out loud to unleash the ARGH feeling in me.

This is what mugging does to you.

Beware.

^&%348-)@#B%(&$BpH*Y$*()&$#_)*V$

Ok, i feel 1% better now.

My wonderful christmas.

Just as i wished that my christmas will turn for the better...

It actually did!!!

Santa claus just came to visit me just now. The best part is.. they came in a pair and a box of donuts. Being mroe high tech, they did not attempt to find a chimney and squeeze in.

Instead, they called using their samsung/nokia hp and walked in throught the gate.

Cool eh.

Nope, there's no reindeer or anything, but they came in a TOYOTA WISH with carplate number 1290.

In case you're wondering.. BINGO!!

My cousin and her husband came to my house at about 10.45 pm. Just as everyone in my house is sleeping and i'm still mugging.

They came with a surprise!!!!

As i open my mystery present with anticipation, what was inside made me go OMG?!!!!!

I SIMPLY LOVE IT SO MUCH. SOMETHING I WORKED HARD FOR, SOMETHING THAT I REALLY REALLY WANTED.

Yeap, they gave me a playdoh toy set. A DENTIST one somemore..

Yipee!!!!

They really really made my day and made me feel loved, just at the right moment when i was thinking about the years to come where christmas will be a loner's festival for me.

We spend about 1/2 hour or so having fun with it.

Though i didn't say anything, but i'm really really touched by their gesture. It really brightened up my day a million fold and made me feel so so so loved.

It came at the right time and i really appreciate their effort.

It gave a meaningful twist to my christmas.

At least my christmas this year is different from the past ones.

Thank you so much jie jie and yan xiang.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Christmas

Christmas isn't really merry for me.

It doesn't really brings me happiness nor anything. Instead, it's a entirely different thing for me.

It's weird, but yes, it gives me funny emotions every year, especially so on the 24th of december each year.

Just as the clock strikes 12, i will most often be spending this time alone in my room, with a cup of hot tea and gazing into space... thinking of god knows what.

It's weird eh, but this has been happening for years now and i've gotten used to it.

Not that i feel sad or what.. but it's definitely not happiness during christmas.

Somehow i'm also not sure of what emotions i'm feeling.

Melancholy seems to be the word which is most apt in this situation, though not 100% so.

Maybe mirthless too ? Well, maybe. I don't know.

Despite not giving me feelings or happiness and what not, i do not detest christmas though.

It just holds different meanings for me.

Christmas is a gift i give myself each year.

Maybe one day, christmas will change too.

And that will be when the meanings it holds for me changes too.

Hopefully that's for the better.

For now,

Merry Christmas everyone.

Eeew.

Aiyah, as i look back on my entries, i realise i need a life.

Seriously lacking in 1 now.

It's like 80% of my entries are abt school work and stuff.

Getting a bit boring here. heh heh

Ok, shall go queen's way and ikea soon. Get my jar to collect extracted teeth and new pair of track shoes or sneakers.

I need a life.. maybe i shall resume swimming soon.

And start running. haha.

Too bad there's no gym nearby.

Gotta source for one. and join s19 guys for badminton if possible. I need more happy hormones, can't remember their name though.. is it serotonin?

haha. right. back to mugging.

Yikes.

T_T

I'm going crazy... It's only 3 weeks left officially and i still have yet to do what i want to do.

Oh no...

I bet this must be the reason for me being so irritated.

Time is like running out fast.

ARHHHHHHHHH

Pui, i hate holidays.

But pui pui, i hate school even more. I love my course, it's something else that i hate.

Betcha know what i'm refering to.

ARHHHHHHHHH.

I am getting more and more frustrated. Be it with things, with my progress with work etc..

I am just feeling really really irritated that i wanna punch myself.

ARGH..... ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder why, but sometimes there are certain things which you can't stand about someone and that person just keeps doing that again and again.

Now that there is no maid at home, i really hope my Dad UNDERSTANDS this fact.

Man.. sometimes i just wanna yell at him after reminding him to clear up his stuff and etc etc.

It's really getting on my nerves... it's like, can't you just throw the banana peel into the bin or wake my mum up for dinner instead of sitting on the sofa and watching tv?

And then he complains about being tired etc.. comeon, all of us are, and i still have to study till about 3 am before i sleep and wake up again tml morning leh.

Gosh... it's getting on my nerves so much especially when i'm already frustrated myself, and i got to clear up stuff for him because he's just...... hai, forget it.

Been tolerating this for sometime. But things just repeat themselve AGAIN AND AGAIN.

WHAT THE HELL la...

Argh... dui.

I will remind him one last time tomorrow, it's like the countless times i've repeated myself.

Pek chek ah..

ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm just irritated and he's just not helping lah...

hai, what to do, tolerate lor.... bleah...

Nothing much. weirdo having weird dreams

Today is still alright, but somehow as i took a nap just now, i keep having weird dreams like for 1, i dreamt that i was napping when it rained and the laundry's still out. Woke up in shock to realise that it's all but a dream.

Lolz..

Well, been enjoying my stay at home, starting to enjoy staying at home. Woot..

Getting more and more like a weirdo.

Haha.

WOOOooooHOOOoooo

You know, it's good to know that people are reading your blog though they aren't tagging. Hahaha.

Ok, just getting a bit high thinking about this.

But no, i'm not a narcist.

Woke up at 9.30 today, did all my housework, sweep, mop and i WASHED CLOTHES?!!

Oh my.. that's a feat for me, considering the fact that i HATE to wash clothes.

But yeah i did.

Kinda hoping that my days without my maid can help me reduce my weight a little, haha, considering the fact that she's not around to cook and i'm lazy to cook, and that i'm doing work. Literally.

Haha. yeah.

Shall mug now. Will need to cook tang yuan and do other housework later.

But meanwhile, let me finish folding the clothes. Wishing that it will not rain, so i don't have to bring the clothes in. Shitty feeling when it rains and i'm napping and the laundry's out.

But in case u're wondering, no i'm not training to be a good housewife. NEVER. hahahahhahaha

JIA YOU loh

Got loads of stuff to do, i doubt i can finish.

But yeah, i'm sure i'll be able to make it through and do all that i need to. Be it, housework, school work, nj reports, studying for tests etc etc etc.

Seem a little countless, i have so little time but so much to do.

I will be able to finish it.

I know i can. But well, nothing comes without sacrifice.

Doubt i will be going out often this holidays already. I don't want any regrets in school in semester 2.

Semester 2 is simply too crazy and hectic, not to mention chaotic for me.

Anyway, don't think i will be going out much anymore, got to stay at home and handle stuff, at most i guess i'll chiong to JE lib to mug for my tests and finish my assignments.

This is going to be 1 busy holiday, but i'm gonna enjoy it BIG time.

Yeah, i will...

What's success without sacrifice man, this is the time for it.

Just hope that i get what i deserved after that.

:) JIA YOU loh..

Help.. T_T

WHAT THE SAI!!!!!

I just realised that i have only about 3 weeks of holidays left.

And i still have so much things to do?!!!!!

Oh my oh my...

I regret slacking and sleeping for so long the past week.

I hate myself for being so slack..

ARGH..

Really cannot procratinate already, must chiong all the way..

CHIONG CHIONG CHIONG!!!!!

I have so much work to do...

Help.. T_T

I'm lurving it, tada da da da.. haha

It's a weird feeling to know that you are all alone at home now.

I keep having butterflies in my stomach, keep having this wonderous feeling which makes me excited all over...

I enjoy and i like being alone at home.

I simpy love it.

I think i'm most comfortable this way. Call me weird, call me anti-social.

But i do enjoy having lunch and doing things alone.

Guai tai, yeah, i don't deny.

I'm so gonna love my holidays w/o my maid at home, even though that means that i'm gonna be the new sophia maria now.

But then, i'm fine with anything, just don't ask me to wash clothes esp when there's no washing machine at home.

Hahahaha..

I 'm lurving it.. WOOooHOOoo

Meaning in life

Somehow, i just had the urge to blog more often than usual today. This is my 3rd entry.

Somehow i have so much to say, but i wonder how i should say it. How i should start it, what i should talk about, how to pen down my thoughts.

They are bugging me so much, i feel like my head's gonna burst.

I'm not having any problems, but just feeling a bit dis-illusioned about how my life should be.Whether it is going the way i would like, whether it could have been better.

What is my meaning in life? This question seemed to have opened another door in me.

Is this the way i want to lead my life? Maybe, maybe not.

But once again, i am amazed at the satisfaction i get in mugging. It makes me less worried somehow, but then again, it's most probably because it re-confirms the fact that i am behaving according to social norms.

Well, not many people are able to do what they love and excel at it. I wonder if this path i took is the one for me. It used to be something i wanted so much, but then..

I wonder how many cross-junctions i will have to cross in life. Somehow, i think i'm afraid to reach there. Looking at how people around me have regretted making the decisions they made and the sacrifice they have to make.

What is life, and what is the meaning of my life? I really have no clue.

Altruism was what i used to think, gives people meaning in life. Friends, another. Followed by family, career and what not that comes along. But then, looking around, there are so many people with all these in their lifes, but they aren't happy.

Maybe that's just a flaw in us, never contented nor satisfied. Is this what is giving me all these thoughts now?

A part of me wants to admit that i am just being a lucky person complaining about un-necessary stuff. But a little voice tells me this is not the case.

I'm scared. Life is too short for mistakes, life's too short for me to try things out. I don't want to live my life not knowing what i want, not doing what i will nv regret and not knowing my purpose of being in this world.

I don't want to keep thinking about the things i want to but never did, and regret my decision, hoping that there will be a next life where i will be able to do all these again. It's about cherishing the opportunities when they are there. But the thing is, how do i know if that is something that i will regret if i have decided to take it up?

There are so many things i would have liked to do but never got the guts to. And i have regrets in my life which i carry to my grave. But what can i do about them now?

Follow your dream, that's what people say. But easier said than done. Finding the dream is tougher than following it. How can you do something when you do not have a goal in mind? What satisfaction do you gain?

I guess this is so applicable to my situation, mugging without an aim. Just doing what i think is right since it makes me less worried and more at peace, although i know it is going to bring regrets later. Esp when i' on my death bed and i would have very much hoped that i spend less time studying and working.

But then again, maybe that is my way of doing something while i search for my meaning, only that is it taking up too much of my focus that i get dis-illusioned.

Mugging seems like the right thing to do. Follow social standards and feel normal. I mean, it's like everyone's doing it cos it felt like the right thing to do, but who really feels that this actually gives them the satisfaction they want in life?

Once again, how do you define satisfaction? How do you eliminate that emptiness within you?

Maybe my meaning in life is getting married and growing old with my partner and watching my kids grow. But if you look around, how many mothers have felt that they should and could have done more than just being a housewife?

What is my meaning in life? What is the purpose of me being in this world? What is it that i want, what should i do be able to peacefully say my prayers before i close my eyes as i approach the end of my life's journey and thank god for all that he has given me? What do i want in life?

It simply feels like a empty hole waiting to be filled up. But whatever fills up that hole in me, i hope it is something i will not regret. But then, whether this hole gets filled up is another obsolete topic.

Human beings are weird creatures, thinking about things which they can't even explain themselves.

Think about it, the social system has kinda forced people into making decision which they themselves aren't sure of. Choosing your career path when u're only 18 is just insane. But maybe that is the whole aim. The aim to pressurize us into making decisions which we aren't even sure of, the aim to make us make decisions according to what is deemed as the ' right" decision by the society so that everything runs smoothly. And before we know it, we are halfway into our lives, doing something we thought was right and socially acceptable, something that we thought we would have liked to do but feeling all empty inside at the end of the day. Worse still, we behave like robots, simply following a daily routine, pay our taxes, pay our bills, watch tv, shop and do all the things that we label as " leisure".

What is leisure then? Is it doing things that does not require much brain? Or does it refer to things which just takes us away from out robotic daily routine. Or is it something that we really enjoy doing, something we will feel great about, something we well be extremely satisfied about, something that we will enjoy so much that we crave for it every moment after that( not refering to sex).

What is my meaning in life?

Perhaps i'm really reaching the cross junction in my life now that's making me think about all these now. But i'm glad that at least i'm proud to tell myself that i am thinking, and i want to live a better life, one that i will not regret but be thankful of when i'm on my deathbed.

How i wish that " meaning" is something you can buy or obtain from supermarkets. I won't have such a hard time finding it, and yet return with empty hands.

I hope to find it soon.

Life's too short for me. I cannot wait.

I want to start living my life.

Now.

Nice

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Be lieve it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

This is what i saw on somebody else's facebook. :)

Never looking back

I did it. Finally.

It wasn't easy trying to defeat that little voice in me. I wonder if i will regret what i've done.

But then again, i should give without asking for any return.

It was tough, trying to convince myself about this decision. I started counting my blessings, and thought about the chances of me doing it again.

I finally made the decision. And i went ahead without anyone's consent. I didn't even dare tell anyone about it.

No-one would have agreed with what i've done.

No-one would have believed me. No-one would have understood why i did it.

They will think that i have gone crazy.

I know i'm not, i wonder if you think so too.

It's a decision no-one supported.

No-one.

But still, it's time for me to settle my own things, to make my own decisions, to do things that i would have regretted if i did not do it.

I just went and did it.

I will not look back.

Never.

I am glad that i've made this decision.

I hope you know it too.

Goodbye.

Thank you

I wonder why i did that.

It's not out of pity, i just wanted to do it.

I know this decision is one not supported by many, one that many will be rather cynical about.

I don't deny that i can't even believe myself that i'm actually doing it.

It's not something big, and i wonder why i had been reluctant.

But this little voice tells me i HAD to do it.

I knew this is something i got to do, esp since i've been thinking about it for a few weeks now.

I know i won't regret it.

I hope you know it too.

Whatever that happened, taught me how to count my blessings.

And taught me to help when i can and be thankful for all i have.

Thank you.

Will you know my name, if i saw you in heaven?

Slacking

Today hasn't been productive in terms of work, did nothing at all. But in terms of socialising, i had a great deal of fun.

Went to help my cousin and her husband( yes, no longer BF) to bake 90 cup cakes for a kids' christmas party, then went to clementi for badminton with the S19 peeps( mostly guys lah).

Had a great deal of fun, went for pool after that and i was kinda pro.. Oops. haha, eric, this is definitely not ur credit lor, it's my skill.. hahahahahaha. But yeah, we created a legacy today. Played about 4 games, won 3 and lost one by a margin. hahaha.

I'm not getting proud.

Oh yeah, dinner was great and after that we went IMM coffe club for coffee and chit chat..

Had a lot of fun, and well, NJ days are still simply the best man. Hahahaha.

ok, back home now, better get started on some work before i really get complacent. Shucks, been slacking since anatomy about 2 months ago.

2 months of slacking is simply too much for me.

haha. and there is still the bloody troublesome island wide canvasing thing to do. What a bother.

Simply feel like this is wasting my time, why can't be just save a little and be a little more GIAM?

I really hate to walk so much in FORMAL OFFICE ATTIRE and asking pp to sponsor when it's rather obvious that it is DONATION instead. And i don't like to be rejected, seriously.

But to think about it, once i graduate, i will want nothing to do with all these anymore, since i'm don't have a sense of belonging there or anything. Lolx, antisocial rantings all over again.

Heck, i make sure i utilise my holidays to the fullest and i learn how to swim and have loads of exercise which i am seriously missing out on.

Holidays, here i come.

Yes finally after slacking for so long, i am going to make it a fruitful one.

Lazy daisy.

I am getting lazy, i wonder why.

No longer so driven, i am getting complacent.

HOW HOW HOW??!!!

I need my motivation back.

Enough said.

I want my random thoughts about the impossible to be gone.

Been more than 2 weeks since it's bugging me.

When will it ever stop.

ARGH.....

right, back to work. I need to be more driven.

Holidays no more.

Manhood returns.. yikes

Well, i think i am falling sick again. I realise that i am gradually losing my voice and my nose is terribly blocked each time i lie down on the bed. Throat's not feeling really well either.

My voice is making me feel manly. S***

I suppose it's the result of the late nights and disrupted sleep patterns for the past few weeks.

Anyway, i've finally finished my cario report. Really tiring, really stressful and it really shows people's attitude towards work. I was initially really pissed and aghasted by how some people can be so irresponsible but at the same time, be amazed at how others take their work seriously.

I was initially really really disgusted, cos i felt that i was wiping other's butt for them, but after that, i don't really care anymore, to a point i gave up. But well, things took a turn for the better and i finally got it down. Yes. Thank goodness i finished it.

I hope we do get a good grade for it, cos i put in a lot of time, effort and tolerance. Prof better open his small eyes WIDE enough to give us a decent grade. If the grade is good, i'm happy cos i knew i put in a hell lot of effort and did a hell lot. But if the grades sucked, then so be it... can't really expect much when everything's like that.

But heck, it's over. And yes, sorry folks, i do ramble and complain a lot and thanks for tolerating my " colourful " language. hahahaha

oh yes, i went to a few clinics today to collect teeth. Man talking was so terrible when i keep going out of tune. I sounded like some Ah Kua talking lah.. but i'm proud to say, i've left bottles at 16 clinics. That's a feat for me man, considering the fact that i took the effort to take a bus to different clinics to collect teeth. Alright, i went on 3 different days.

I hope my collection will be enough for my lab as well as for my line's usage.

Been slacking for a week by now, shall continue to slack a little more till this weekend before i start chionging all over again. But i'll have to be maid for quite some time, cos my maid is going home for a while.

heh, here's my plan for the holidays. call me a mugger if you wish, cos i am ONE!!

And i emit the mugger's aura, called MAURA (coined by S19)

- study and revise past subjects learnt
- be maid
- learn swimming
- collect teeth
- vet reports for nj
- tuition
- islandwide canvassing for float funds ( troublesome and DEFINITELY not the way i want my hols to be. )
- Study for my bio chem test immediately after hols
- Oral bio notebook ( heard that it's due after hols)

And loads more.. holidays aren't holidays afterall, just when i thought those terrible holidays during JCs are over, more terrible ones in UNI is starting.

Nevermind, 4 more years and i'm free from all these.

4 more years of training my tolerance. gosh, i'm trying to be optimistic here.

cousin's wedding

Just came back from my cousin's wedding. Gosh.. i have so much to say, to tell her.. but i just don't know how to start.

Seeing that she's married and happy, i'm really really glad for her. But 1 part of me just can't seem to let her go leh. I suppose that's how the rest of us feel too. When i saw the small video clip they made and the photos, i felt that. hmm, i'm so happy to be in this family, esp the 5 of us. though from diff family, but 5 of us is simply so close. Much much closer than siblings.

We went through a lot together. I suppose that's why when my aunt(mama) and uncle(papa) said what they wanted to tell jie jie in that video, we felt like crying, cos it was simply so touching. When it was our turn, i felt that maybe everyone of us is afraid that we'll say till we cry, or rather there's too much to say but we just can't seem to find the words. So.. the 4 of us did a funny version for her.

We grew up together, 3 cousins and jie jie and kor kor. Ever since we were kids all the way till we're all grown up now. It's a special bond that we have, that no one can replace anyone. SO when finally she's getting married, i felt very sher bu de.

Also don't know why like that lah.

But sitll. i wish her happiness.

Jie Jie ah, next time you feel like coming home must come home ok, must go back and see mama, papa and kor kor. If you kena bully must tell us ok, don't keep everything to yourself. If you feel unhappy must tell us also. But now that you're married, cannot be so childish already, must be more tolerant of things, and must learn to control your temper ah, not everyone can tahan you like us. If you miss mama's cooked food must come back for dinner lor, then you also must learn to cook ah. Don't always work and work then never eat, then when at home, must make sure you got enough sleep too, don't stay up too late, later dark rings appear.

Most importantly, must continue to come home more often, I'm sure mama, papa and kor kor will miss you one. Just that our family is not apt at expressing our emotions. Now that the home has one empty room, i'm sure it's gonna take come time before we can all adjust back.

You ah, control your temper hor, must stop complaning over little things already, and you cannot always pull a long face as and when you want to ah.

It's sad how time flies. In time to come,you'll be a mother and it'll be our turn to take care of your kid, like how you took care of us. And must come home often ok. We will miss you.

Must take care and be happy ok? We love you

Yi ding yao xing fu ah jie jie. :)

It'll be gone one day.

The feeling and thoughts aren't gone.

Bugging me, making me puzzled and confused.

It can't be happening. What am i think about?

I must be crazy.

It's ridiculous and impossible.

But the voice refuses to stop.

A fight against reality and the impossible.

One day, it'll be gone.

Thinking of the unthinkable.. random entry

I don't know why i keep thinking of it.

I don't know what i'm thinking.

Thinking of the un-thinkable, the impossible, the taboos.

Why..

I'm late again.

This sucks. Another one.

But if i wasn't late, i wouldn't have known.

But still, it's too late.

Hope all's well again... though i seriously doubt so.

Differences made, lives changed.

Nothing will be the same again.

Take care.

If only i've known earlier.

If only nothing has happened.

If only everyone knew.

Doesn't matter if nobody understands what i wrote. Don't bother to guess.

I'm thinking the unthinkable.

I also don't know why i'm so random today.

Random thoughts, random words, random sentences.

The random.

Yeah! HOLIDAYS!

Had morpho test today. Unexpectedly much tougher than i expected it to be. Hopefully i won't fail it.

Anyway, went for indian food with cousin and her bf just now.. I must say the food is not bad, but the spices can be a little overpowering sometimes. Can't really take it. But still, it's good and i definitely got to know more about the other race. The good thing is, i'm not having indigestion now. yeah!

Tml still got oral bio lor. sian. go school for 2 hours. Then after that meet cousin and i shall chiong my report and get my part over and done with. I really want to have a good weekend withouth cario bugging me at the back of my head.

Well, i still got so much things to do this weekend and i see my workload and back-dated work piling up like OH MY GOSH?!!!

How the hell am i going to survive this holidays? I still have so many things to do and an exam to tackle RIGHT after my holidays.

Just when i thought that i can finally enjoy holidays w/o having to mug for exams after JC.. the nightmare begins again.

Hahaha. but yeah, i'm getting really relieved that morpho is over. :)

One phrase i find meaningful in the bible. i'm not a christian.

One who exalts himself gets humbled and one who humbles himself gets exalted.

Getting cold feet. A little too late.

Tomorrow is my morpho test and somehow, i am not really kinda prepared. I did study, not that i didn't.

I worked hard for it, but still i feel that i don't know enough. I feel that i may not remember so many things. I feel that my memory retension of what i have learnt is not that strong. I keep forgetting my stuff, i only remember when i read them again.

How?

My line senior said it's going to be hard. I wonder what i should do about it tomorrow.

The thing is, the more difficult portion is in the morning at 10. Then the mcq is at 5.30.

Can you imagine it, we are actually going to mark our friend's mcq? OMG...... and that is how my first dental exam is like.

But i'm getting nervous all over and what not.

How?

Getting a little bored

Ok, i didn't really blog for sometime. Kinda running out of things to write already.

Well, i must really say that the wind is really strong these few days. I kinda like it. it definitely beats having a humid weather. But well, it'll be even better if it is sunny too. But hmmm. kinda hard to get hor?

But well, wednesday is my morpho test. Somehow, i can't really remember so many things. really kinda a lot of details to remember and i have no idea how the test is, since i've not taken a single dental exam before. But yeah, i shall try harder la.

Kinda weird that i'm not stressed about it at all. I wonder why. Things and mentality really changes once i step into uni. No longer as stressed... taken a back seat. I mean, definitely a significant change for me la. I wonder if i can still keep up with my results and maintain good results.

Sometimes i do wonder, if i really want it that much. Somehow, the passion for dentistry seems to have died down a little. I wonder why, is it because of my company, or the workload, or is it that it was an illusion all these while.

Oh my.. the latter can't be true. But yeah. i shall work hard, make sure i graduate with good results and be a good dentist. I will definitely not be like some who come in for the money. I will be a true healthcare professional and make sure i help the needed and not charge more than is required. Who cares if i'm really charging so little, i mean, helping shouldn't come with a price and well, the amount of work we do and the money we get is kinda not balanced.

I will not be a money minded dentist.

Something meaningful from the bible. I'm not a christian by the way.

The doctor treats the sick, not the healthy.

Similiarly, i think that all the more a doctor should treat to help, not to get paid. It distorts the whole idea of being a healthcare professional. Sadly, there are people like that around.

Peace for the 5 dragon-boaters

Somehow, i felt very affected by the news of the 5 dragon boaters.

Though i personally don't know a single one of them, i felt the grieve of losing 5 such wonderful people. Tears just roll down uncontrollably when i read the news and how their kin broke down upon recieving the news. I wonder why does such a thing have to happen to them when they are at their peak, when they are young and vibrant, when they still have so many dreams and goals which they've not fulfilled.

But it is in these hard times, that i do see how people within the nation comes together and grieve for them, how it seems like the whole incident has brought everyone closer together, how the incident has made many of us more appreciative of the people and things around us and most importantly, makes us realise that life is REALLY precious.

Anything can happen anytime, when things happens, we may not be prepared for it. I suppose that's why many learn to cherish things only after they're gone, and feel the ache.

That is also when all the "what if" appears.

I suppose it's not really usual for people in our society to express our gratitude to the people around us, to tell them how special they are and what difference they have made in our lives. It's the mentality of " Pai Seh" that deter us from doing that often, i suppose.

But well, i really want to thank all of you, for being a part of my life, for walking with me all these while.

To the 5 victims, Jeremy Goh, Loh Soon Ann, Reuben Kee, Chee Wei Cheng and Poh Boon San, thank you for training so hard and bringing glory to our country.

I wish you peace.

P.S: as promised: i shall change my blog settings to 7 entries each week for my friends to see what has happened so far. After which i will resume back to 1 entry settings. :) Weekly ah, for the benefit of those who can only view it on weekends. :)