another boring day

Well, today was still alright la. But hmm, sometimes i do feel that i'm not being appreciated.

Sometimes, when little things done are not appreciated, and then i just wonder what's the point.

But yeah, nvm la, i don't really appreciate others' efforts sometimes too. What goes round will come back to me. haha

I always believed that.

Anyway, recently in school, there's a big fuss over some exam matters. But well, can't be bothered la. The question of whether integrity exist doesn't matter anymore to many i guess.

It has come to a point that i no longer believe in altruism nor integrity. What happens around me, the attitude, the philosophy of many only emphasize the fact that the world is ruled by money, power, fame and what ever shit.

Money rules the world, and selfishness is the principle to live with. Altruism is non-existant.

I just hope i don't become like that. I hope that i won't be negatively influenced.

nothing much.

Well, i guess time and interaction will really reveal someone's character to you. I'm glad i've finally know how selfish and manipulative people can get.

Shall distant myself from them. Kinda sad that we kinda share the same roots. I say kinda, cos i refuse to admit that.

Life is getting less motivated, less driven.

Am i losing my vision, is my aim getting more and more distant, can i reach the ending point and begin on a new journey?

I hope so.

I shall work hard and make sure i protect myself well.

I have no idea how to, but i will try. Meanwhile, i'm glad and also hope that i will not turn into an ugly being like the manipulative one.

Stand by my own principles, do my own things and have faith in myself, while at the same time, not succumb to peer pressure.

I will make it through.

No obligations, but help is greatly appreciated :)

Right, this post is an attempt to call for help, whoever is reading my blog.:)

I need teeth for my lab. Don't worry, not YOUR teeth, but i need to collect teeth from dentists.

Usually i'll just leave a bottle there with my name and no and collect the extracted teeth.

So, if you happen to have empty unwanted glass bottle/containers/jars(eg those used to put kaya etc) at home, mind passing it to me? I need quite a few actually.

Been hunting for them and i really don't wanna waste money getting them from ikea or something.

Thanks a lot.

Well, in the long run, my patients(that includes you!) will benefit if i'm able to get more teeth to train my skills. Haha. This is not a threat. MUAHAHHAHAHAH.

Oops.. JKJKJKJK.

Just leave a comment on this post if you wanna help ok?

Thank you thank you! :)



Ok, a brief recap of what i did just now..

Ok, i went to a few clinics to place my jars. Got rejected by 1. Could hardly find any extracted teeth nowadays cos people are not doing so much extractions now.

Dots. but well, bo bian, i'll try and search for more. Persevere. Must jia you, if not i won't have teeth for my lab. No teeth, nothing to work on. Though my line has a supply, but i heard it's reapidly diminishing with loads of erm... not so good specimens. Haha

It's gonna take months before i collected sufficient. but heck, usually the jars are left there for a few months before they'll call for us to collect. Haha.. so, i'll just hope that many people get their teeth extracted. Haha.

Evil dentist-to-be. MUAHAHAHHAHAHA

Thanks a lot.

There are NO OBLIGATIONS ah. :)

Why?

I wonder why things always happen one after another.

When one thing is settled, the other arises.

Troublesome, worry-some, bother-some. What ever - somes there are.

I have had enough of it. Things got to stop for the better. For me, for everyone else.

I need my prayers to be answered. Can you actually hear me?

When will this ever stop?

I think all i can do is to mug hard. Mug and mug.

Slacking should nv and will nv happen again.

i've slacked 3 days off. Sinful.

End of it. Will mug hard now.

Jia You.

Btw, i've changed the format of my blog. Cos i realise that the world is too small. Dangerously small.

Time to do some self protection. :) Please understand that. :) Just inform you, i blog daily. haha so if u wanna know what happened, i will occasionally change the settings back again. Just tag. :) A little troublesome i know. pardon me for that. i just can't seem to not blog that often.

Hope all things turns out fine.

Got a shock when i read the papers today.

Out of the 5 who went missing after their dragon capsized, one of them is a NJ teacher. Though i don't recall seeing him in school, i bet he is rather young, cos usually we get new teachers from NIE during the later half of the year.

Somehow, although i don't know him, i felt kinda worried. I guess it's because we share the same root, NJ. Hope he is safe and sound and be found soon. i wonder how the teachers who know him in NJ are feeling now.

Right, today has been another EXTREMELY unproductive day; slept my day away. Not good, not good. But i guess it's the only way that can make me stay at home the whole day.

Right, nothing much to blog about today. Shall resume my cario report. Sian.. sian.. sian... i keep having the writer's block. Not good.

Mai hum, mai hum. mai dao gay too.

I forgot i have non- chinese friends reading my blog too. Right i shall blog one more entry. Actually i think that's just my excuse la. Haha..

Eh, Aravin, i'm definitely NOT refering to you. Haha.. Oops

Anyway, i wonder why i am so slack now. Absolutely no drive or motivation to do anything at all. I hope i'm not getting the lazy bug or the slacker's bug. This is not me.

But yeah, i shall slack for one more day and tomorrow i shall chiong my brains out. squeeze out all the brain juice and make sure i use more than 3% of my brain cells in thinking and processing info.

My plan:

Renal
Respiration
Morpho
biochem
Oral bio
Anat
cario report

I doubt i will do any of the above la. Sian.

i'm kinda feeling really reluctant to do anymore work. I'll make a trip out tomorrow anyway. Go and settle my teeth collection thing and cut my hair. Then maybe i shall start mugging. I mean, hard core.

Anat is the killer man, once after that i've like no more drive to continue my fervour in mugging. haha. so i assume you can imagine how active i was at mugging?

No life man.

i realise i really don't click well with quite a few pp i know. i think the problem lies with me la, somehow i am just so reluctant. I mean, my first and second impression wasn't nice. And it kinda made me build a wall around me.

Sia lah, becoming more and more anti-social. I definitely know this is not a good sign. But i don't want to know people because of possible benefits i can get from them. And i hope people don't make friends with me because of that.

I know my friends don't. :) Definitely. I know they'll never do a thing like that to me.

Friendship is a two way thing, which i believe is one where we give support etc etc to each other. Definitely not a means for us to exploit each other, right, maybe not exploit, but you get what i mean. Somehow, i wonder what's wrong with me. It's not that i don't like to make friends, but i just can't seem to be on the same frequency with many now.

It's my problem la. Subconciously, i refuse to give in, to put that trust in them, and most importantly, lose my freedom and be tied down with obligations. It has come to a point where i try to avoid them as much as possible. Once there is a chance that a clique is forming, i will distant myself away. The only thing that is bothering me now is that, well, i should have distant myself away when it started, and somehow i'm kinda like stuck in one now. Been trying to create more personal space, i know it's not gonna be nice for the other person, but i really cannot stand it. I will die of suffocation and the situation now is so not good cos one is super reliant, the other is trying to break away.

Bad situation, makes me feel guilty sometimes, but it can get so bad that i got to lie to get some personal time sometimes. Man. Sinner.

I wonder why girls like to stay in cliques more than guys. I mean, why do girls just like to group together? Weird leh. But i think i'm even more weird by refusing to be in a clique. Oddball. But seriously i wonder. Singapore is so warm, doesn't grouping together makes us feel uncomfortable? Right, that's not the point. Getting random again.

I'm manly. WOOooo. See me flex my muscles.. ARGH. lolz. I think i'm flexing my fats.

good thing is, i still have tons of good friends whom i'm comfortable with, whom i willingly put my trust in them. Yeah..hahahah. But the problem is, my timetable is so screwed up, i can't even really meet up with them regularly!

Really clashes man, when i have exams, they are having lessons. Then when i'm having holiday, they are mugging for exams. When i have lessons, they are having holidays. Bleah.. pui pui pui..

You know ah, i think i need to take things easier sometimes. I realise i take things too hard sometimes. Gosh, not good. I shall make myself less bothered with things lah. No need to get so bothered with things right?

I need to have a life. Eh, actually i'm having one now la. but..... ok, shan't complain. shall attempt to be un-bothered. No, i'm not trying to act cool.

Gosh. i do blog with alarming frequencies. I hope i have Mr Brown's humor. lolz.

Mai Hum Mai hum.. well, does that help?

My first intimate contact

这是一个爱情故事，结尾是场悲剧。一对处在暧昧阶段的恋人，表面上不是很在乎彼此，但暗地里都很喜欢对方。双方都没有作出任何表示。有一天，一方因重病而过时了。 整本书并没有我之前所期待的“亲密接触”。或许因为没有这样的“亲密接触”，似乎有点可惜。 这本书的故事情节自古以来层出不穷，可是它却让我从新定义“亲密接触”。爱情的“亲密接触”并不只限制在鱼水之欢。说的难听一点，只要有钱，只有在酒吧里多混两圈，肉体上的亲密接触垂手可得。心灵上的“亲密接触”才是难能可贵的。 亲密接触，是当

… 左手牵起她的右手。

… 在她的怀里宁听她的心跳。

… 拨开她眼前的头发。

… 看到她在家时的样子，没有打扮，烂衣旧裤，头发乱。

… 吃到她亲手做的早餐。

… 看着她熟睡的样子。

… 陪她去看医生。

… 我们的笑话旁人听不懂。

… 我们的用词旁人不晓得。

… 知道还会有很多很多的亲密接触。 我想，蔡志恒所谓的“亲密接触”大概就是这些吧。爱情里的亲密接触，随手可得，却轻易被遗忘。用心体会，the intimate contacts。 一段感情，无论任何阶段都会有“第一次的亲密接触”。就算一对老情侣，第一次触摸彼此的假牙，也是“第一次的亲密接触”。享受第一次，享受接触，更享受亲密。

This is what i copied from another blog.

Somehow, it gives me the impulse to watch this show. Somehow, it gives me the impulse to grab this book from the bookshop.

The book's title: My first intimate contact.

Bleah.

Just did the online feedback of teaching staff in NUS. Gosh, i'm amazed at how much i can complain about the teaching staff from physio and dental department. I only praised people from the biochem and anat department lor.

And i really criticise the hell out of me. Though i seriously wonder if such information will be kept confidential. Somehow a part of me tells me no. And though the info will only be released to them after exams, it's not of any help since my modules are for the entire year.

I think my comments on the improvement part is gonna trash some of their egos.

I seriously hope all info will be confidential. Maybe i shall change my comments, but it's not going to help any one if i make untrue statements.

but well, went school for cariology meeting. Meetin was like only 30 minutes and the entire meeting was spent watching an extremely lame movie in megabites. Occasionaly bursts of laughter attracted the other's attention, but heck la. Funny ma.

Right. Now got ot go back to chiong cario and morpho already. Sian.

Sucks leh. After the feedback thing, i really feel that i have loads to complain abt their style of teaching lor. I never even nominate anyone for the award. Was thinking of some prof from anat.

see how lah.

Another routine day

Somehow, blogging has kinda become a daily necessity of my life. i just feel weird not blogging.

Well, today ah.. went school at 9 plus for biochem lecture which is supposed to end at 12.30. But halfway into the lecture, the bulb of the projector went off with a "PONG" !!!

That marks the end of our lecture for today. And i kinda rot in school till 2 for my anatomy lecture.

Not really productive man.

ENTIRELY a waste of my time. You guys know how much i hate to waste time. And this is so not good.

Had cario meeting, but end up.. talking crap. It's funny how the guys talk and well, had a good laugh over small chat.

Reach home and finish most of my morpho book. just left a little bit, almost 95% done.

Wa. super proud of it.. i put so much effort into it lor.. gosh.. kinda amazed by myself. Hope i get a good grade for it, though my book looks a little kian chai, cos i wrote a lot, flipped a lot and pasted a lot of pictures into it.

Somehow my parents knew i was doing this notebook, and was kinda amazed by what my Dad said to me during dinner. A bit stunned to hear him say that la, but i will make sure i protect myself while stil being nice. Not good to be used by people.

While i don't make use of people, i will protect myself and not be used by people. But well, if people want to make use of you, how the hell you know in the first place? They'll be super nice leh. but well, i think self-protection is still important lah, and i just try to distant myself from people whom i know are superficial and what not. Shan't name names here. But yeah, sometimes the more you try to distant, the more you find them approaching you. wonder why they don't get it... but heck, shall siam as far as i can.

Actions speak louder than words.

Today's the 21 Nov already. in 2.5 weeks' time, Jie Jie will get married. Hai. Mixed feelings about that. Just hope that everything is still like how we were when we were kids back in the 1980s.

And today, i realise quite some people in my class thinks that i'm smart and dexterious. Don't really like that. Not that i am being humble, or trying to act humble. I just don't feel comfortable. I just don't like un-necessary attention. I don't like to have people saying such things, when apparently there are many many more who are smart and also do well, but just keep a low profile.
I never do anything too, but kena this. Not my favorite, not the attention i want.

My intention was to remain as un-noticed as much as possible the 1st time i saw them. Definitely not this. I want to stay in my little corner and do my stuff, recieve little comments and be comfortable with what i do.

No pressure, no stress, no need to entertain anyone nor feel uncomfortable.

Sometimes, i'm trying my best to do sneak away as much as i can after lessons etc, definitely not having people suaning you and making a fuss over me asking the Prof stuff after lessons. I don't like this kind of suaning.

I mean, we are all the same, just whether you put in effort, you mug hard or not. No difference, why do they have to say such things. The most ridiculous was that one of them told me i was like perfect, cos gd with studies and lab. Couldn't believe my ears.. Nice to hear that, but well, that is not a fact. I mean DEFINITELY not. iI just work hard, don't really like it when people just comment things like that, as in though it's a good thing, but you kena SUAN rather often. Quite sick and tired sometimes, my effort is like non-existant.

But it's not bothering me too much la. Cos well, i know at least i'm normal and i appreciate my own effort. Self satisfaction is sufficient.

But yeah, shall focus on Morpho studying now. been procrastinating for a long long time. Shall do so this very minute and CHIONG for morpho. I shall find a mugging corner and hide there as much as i can, do my own things, be myself, be comfy and be less irritated and disturbed by people i want to minimise contact with.

Bleah. hungry and tired. I realise i've got so much to complain. Loads of discontentment when i should be happy and grateful for what i have.

Not a good sign. incessant complaining makes me whiny. Not good, not good at all.

Shall make it a point to change that. yeah

Another routine and well, un-happening day again.

Today was still alright, but well, i swore to wake up early. Cos today, my lesson was at 10 am and i woke up at around 9.30 am. WTH!!!

Chiong to school and i made it in time! haha

Yes, i hate to wake up late. And this has been happening for the past 2 weeks.

Shall stop doing that and wake up at 6.30.

Attempt to be in school early so i can mug hard. Mug really really hard.

I hate being unproductive.

That sucks.

Well, i reckon i really look like one big idiot now. cos i spotted on lizard in my room and i'm trying to wave my notes and jump in my room to try to drive it back to its hiding place which is behind the light so i don't see it. But well, it's irritating me.

And somehow i can't focus with it there. I hate lizards.

I wish that all lizards in the world will all die or just simply vanish with a "POOF"

Lizards are disgusting.

NJC

I just went to Youtube and searched for njc.

Viewed all the videos available there, involving people i know, events i know.

Man. i realise how much i really really miss those days back then.

Saw the video when NJCSB clinched the gold with honors back in 2005, the hysteria, joy and tears that all of us shed. Tears of joy and relief.

For the hardwork, team spirit, sacrifices and bonds that were forged and memories that will forever be etched in our minds.

Tears of joy.

Then i went to see NJCSB's pubstunt for last year. once again, it still bring smiles to my face. Tess's singing, though out of tune and a bit weird, is still hilarious.

I miss the days where we will meet at the linkway and wait for the QMs to open the door, how we used to ran to the parade square because we're late. The late night trainings, the torture of reaching sch before sun rises and leaving only after sun sets, how we scribble on the scores, how we argue unreasonable and bully ash during band pracs, the stench of the room, the stuffiness when the OM refuses to let us have the air con on, the section lunches on saturdays, the mad rush to exit the room before the uncle closes the gate at 1.30 pm on sat, how we use to go to NIE for late night practises, the mad rush to copy homework on the always messy table in the mornings, playing the out-of-tune piano, fiddling with Deon's harp, eating in band prac, sleeping and talking non-stop under Mr Ho's nose, cracking silly jokes and making fun of the few rumored couples in band etc etc etc.

I miss those days despite the hardships.

Also watched eric's short clip and what he has to tell the class about. Totally agree with what he said.

Class chalet's videos brought back loads of wonderful memories.

The joy, the laughter, the silly jokes, the nicknames, the cheers we do for each other whenever someone goes up the podium, the way we'll chiong out of LT once it ended to chope seats in the canteen, the way we always create gossips out of nowhere, how we'll make great fun out of a small thing and have a good laugh over it in class, how we make the teachers so pissed that they'll exit the class, how we'll sneak to the roof to play Daidi, our birthday celebrations and the WEIRD gifts we'll give each other on special occasions, such as Valentines etc, how we copy tutorial answers from each other, how we cheered each other on, how we use to run from the cabin to the main blocks when it rains, how we tried to wrap jiaqi with the blanket on her birthday and the visits to Hsiu Tzu's house, how we use to cry in each other's arms, how we gave each other support. Not to forget how Aravin was so afraid of flying insects and how he "shouted" at eric and guys to stop it and how much we all detest Z*** L** and Ms C*** for accusing Haikel and Aravin for cheating during SPA.

All these really brings back good memories. i hope all of us still stay in touch in the years to come.

But yes, i hope that by then, nobody remembers that i'm used to be called Lucy Th*** B**** by the pp in class... dots. i hope this name won't haunt me for the rest of my life.

I realise i really really miss my NJ days. Though tough, stressful and demoralising, i realise i actually enjoyed myself.

I cherish those days. I want to go back.

Sad thing is, people mostly start to cherish things once they're gone. I'm one of them.

I guess in my current situation, things back then is heaven compared to hell now, i suppose. It's so hard to make friends like those i've met in NJ.

NJ still rocks my socks.

I wish to return.

Great start of the weekend

Haha. Slept at 10 last night and woke up at eleven plus close to 12 this afternoon. Shiok sia.
And then KS called to jio me out for lunch. Lolz.

What a great idea. SO.. we went pastamania for lunch. Omg.. the squid in my Marinara almost killed me. Each time i ate it, i kena choke... But it's nice la.

Catching up with KS was not bad too... but pity that the rest aren't around.

But lunch was good. Hopefully when the rest are free after exams, we can all go out for a good outing and do lots of catching up. Hahahaha..

What a great way to start off my weekend. Lots of rest, good food with good friend.

Well, tonight my parent's are going for wedding dinner. I shall be guai and stay at home to do some work, cos i know tomorrow i'll be out again..

Finally, i'm getting some life and being more laid back about things. hahahhaha

But yes. This coming week shall be hell for my Cario group. Need to rush report and mug for morpho already..

Yeah !!!

Oh btw, something happened on my way to westmall just now. Realised that i don;t have coins with me and that my EZ-link has got no more money. So, i went around trying to exchange money and i saw this foreign worker. So, i exchanged $2 with him. He only has got $1.50. But well, nvm la. $0.50 only, so i changed with him. He went off to the coffee shop and when he came back and saw me still waiting at the bus stop, he took out the $0.50 and return me, insisting that i get the 50 cents though i said nvm, cos it was me who insisted changing $2 for $1.50.

But, well, that made my day too and totally changed my ideas about them. Cos initially, sad and guilty to say, i suppose i do have a few misconceptions about them from my prior experience. But i suppose he really changed my perceptions. I mean, i do feel unjust for them cos they're often misunderstood and getting unfriendly treatment and looks etc from many people.

When people say that Singapore is a fair place, i don't really agree, cos well, just look at the way people treat the foreign workers. Just look at the maids, i think many people do treat them as second class people here and well.. sad to say, i think class system do exist in singapore where many of us feel that we are more superior than the foreign workers.

Many of us fail to understand and put ourselves in their shoes. In fact, i know that many of these foreign workers actually are master degree holders etc, but just because of the language barrier they're treated differently. Many of them were actually promised of good career prospectives here, but after they paid money to some agent etc and were brought to singapore, the job they were given was to be construction workers etc. But well, many of them can't return home cos they borrowed money and are mostly in debt. They need the pay to return their debts as well as feed the family back home. ( This is not my assumption, cos people who've really communicated with them got to know this from the foreign workers themselves.)

Imagine how they felt. Imagine how we will feel if placed in their situations.

I do believe that some of us still have that elitism mindset in us. Even when we go to the poorer countries, I don't believe that none of us will feel that we are not more superior than them. It all bores down to the fact that well, we recieve good education and high living standards here etc etc.

Well, i'm one of the guilty ones with the misconceptions about them initially. But after today, i shall change my mindset entirely man. We can't just assume that all of them are not nice because of a few blacksheeps. I mean, look, even within our own community, there are much more terrible and horrible blacksheeps around. Those who harm you without you even knowing about it. Isn't that worse?

I hope that the phrase " regardless of race, language or religion thing" in our pledge is practised.

But yeah, i'm off to enjoy my good saturday afternoon, though it's drizzling now.

Whacky

Today is a really funny day. a few things happened, which really brightened up my day and made me realise my class is CRAZY.

1) We saw Wenyi, annabell, kenneth and nick at the round about at NUH, talking to a gardener, he handed them a container full of soil and a few plants. Puzzling eh? Why do dental students need those things? Haha. well, it was after we asked then Nick told us that the 2 girls have found a new pet. Called terry.

Terry, turns out to be a snail about the size of a 1 cent coin, which Wenyi almost stepped on.

After that, they started getting crazy about the snail. Wenyi and Nick became Terry's parents. Annabell and kenneth started singing a song about the whole thing, and they were dicussing about Terry's future, like who's church he should attend, who is going to be his tutor for what subject etc etc. And they fed him donut and orange juice i think.

Nick and Kenneth insisted that the soya bean milk that the girls drank evoked maternal instincts in them. Haha

Wilson and Shiming came over and they were speechless to find that the cluster of us sitting there were all laughing and kicking a big fuss over Terry. Shiming said : ' What the..." Rolled his eyes and walked off. I was amused cos initially the 2 guys were unable to see Terry, until someone pointed that tiny snail to them that they went. HUH?!

Lolz

Oh btw, they changed Terry's name to P- terry Go. Well, we assumed that he's a chinese with surname Goh. And they were talking about finding him a friend called Palan Tan. Cos when you string the names up it becomes : Pterygopalatine ( Name of a structure in the human body).

Well, at the end of the day, terry was released at engine fac by kenneth who claims that he is a freedom fighter and he wants to free terry. Anabell insisted that he's a murderer. I think Nick just thinks that the whole thing is NUTS. cos he said that wenyi and annabell is SHEN JING BING to do this.

Faints

2) I fell asleep during biochem. according to Nick, all those sitting at the back who saw were kinda surprised and were making a big thing out of this. Cos apparently, many people turned back to take a look, and they were like : " OH MY GOSH?!!! SHE IS SLEEPING??!!!!"
And someone cracked the joke: " OH NO, she's sleeping!! I never copy any notes at all.. how? " and Nick replied : " No la, she's meditating".

What the hell.. hahahah so funny.

Dots dots dots....... kinda funny. but yeah, it seems that i'm a freak for sleeping in class. Hur hur hur... I must really have been a mugger to create such a big fuss the moment i sleep. Not a good image.

But hell funny. I think all of us are getting crazy.

Madness. But no doubt hilarious.

Obligations- Eeks

I realise i am really a little too independent. My need of personal space is expanding. This need has been much bigger than normal people and somehow is it ever increasing.

I don't think it is being anti-social. Perhaps, i just like to be an individual with little obligations.

I detest obligations. I don't like to do things because i OUGHT to, because that is the norm or simply because i'm supposed to behave a certain manner simply just to fit in.

But hey, i'm not unfriendly. I only allow people i'm closer to, into my space.

That takes time.

Perhaps that's why i don't like to hang out in groups like normal girls does. I don't want to give myself more obligations and i absolutely don't like peer pressure at all.

I like to be free to be who i want to be. I believe my life is mine to lead.

I hate to be tied down. I see no point in reporting to anyone where i am because i am SUPPOSED to be always with particular people.

I guess i'm acting more and more like a freak. I don't deny i am a freak.

Gosh, i may one day simply turn into Shrek and burp non-stop. Worse still, fart non-stop. ( Maybe this is good, cos i can make sure i kill all lizards with my fart.)

I am starting to dislike having my handphone with me. It seems like i have an obligation to reply to smses and calls because that is what is EXPECTED.

No. i want to freedom to choose what to say and who to talk to. I don't want to have the obligation of having to answer because i ought to. Freedom of speech. i wonder if that includes the freedom to talk when i want to.

It simply irks me when people sms me EXTREMELY late at past midnight, continuously before tests to ask me about simple concepts and stuff easily found in lecture notes. I hate to have people asking me about nitty gritty stuff like the venue, time for lessons( when by right it is common sense since MONTHS have passed since the semester has started). And i hate it when people simply don't check their emails or ivle and ask me what notes to print, what will be taught tml etc.

I HATE it. Ownership of own learning. Responsibility to oneself. Non-existant.

I dislike it when people take me for granted like that. Not to include the refusal to bring own water bottle, paper and eraser, as well as the non-stop borrowing of lecture notes( mind you, not in 1 or 2 copies, but in terms of 1 or 2 whole chapters- stacks of notes)

Maybe i'm too independent, that's why i can't stand it. But well, repeated reminders seems futile.

I give up.

I need a lot of personal space. Many knows and respect that.

I am thankful for that understanding.

At the same time, i am thankful to SINGTEL for giving me poor reception and service cos it means that i don't receive smses often when i'm supposed to. I take it as a blessing now that i don't have to see so many of irritating smses. Reduces my obligations.

But i am taking that a little step further too.

Proud to announce: I shall NOT bring my handphone to school. Though not everyday, but i will bring it to school as and when i feel like it. I don't want my handphone to give me additional obligations.

Final word: I hate obligations.

P.S: the above is written in a casual cynical tone. DEFINITELY NOT fierce nor pissed. And i do not hold shares in SINGTEL. Mentioning of SINGTEL in the above blog entry is not an attempt to advertise this brand nor its services. Once again, i do not hold shares in singtel, or at least, that is what i think.

Cute parents strike again.

I wonder why my mom is so different from the other moms.

I woke up to take my dinner and she was like asking me a lot of questions as i ate dinner alone. She was doing other stuff. Asking me why i don't eat in school during lunch etc..
I wonder how she knows about it though i've never told her.

Haha. but yeah. just look at the queue and it kills all enthusiasm in me to eat.

After dinner, i told her i'm going back to my room to study. And she told me to STOP MUGGING.

Eh??!!!

Stumped.. my mum?? asking me to stop mugging?? Hahahahhahahaha. I wonder how many other mum's are getting sick of asking their children to mug. But my mum is different. She is ALWAYS asking me NOT to mug..

She told me to get out of my room to get fresh air. Lol.. My reply was: " I'm out the whole day.. breathe enough already."

Lol.

Ans then, she told me to stop studying because i'm like a 100% bookworm.

What the.. that is so not encouraging eh...

Haha.. but still i miss talking to her during dinners like that. Dad's out to see the doctor when i was napping, so he's still not home yet. I wonder how's things..

All in all.. I think my parents are so so so super special and unique. Hahahaha

A father who persistently asks his daughter about guys in school and a mother who nags incessantly for me to stop mugging.

Amazing.

Doctors? Bleah~

Well, today was just soo.. unproductive. Wanted to wake up early to run and revise my work. But well, ended up waking at 11 am. Shit man.

Anyway, managed to do 2 and half of a third cavity prep today. I still got one more to finish man. OMG. i wonder how the others are going to finish 4 cavity prep by the end of next session. It's simply crazy man. Rush rush rush.

Well, i'm almost finishing the writing part of my dental morpho book. Just lack the drawings only. I hope i can finish by end of this week.

Guess what. Apparently, next week i DO have a reading week too. But that is only exemption from dental subjects. Meaning that... my normal lessons at FoS still applies. Come on. what difference does it make except that well, i can wear casual to school? Think about it. i only have 2 hours at most of lessons at FoD per day. The rest of my day from 8 to 5.30 is at science.

Kinda worried about my parents. i'm really beginning to realise and ACCEPT the fact that they are getting older day by day. No longer as fit as before.

Just yesterday, my Dad sprain his back. He didn't tell me nor see a doc and i only got to know from my mum today. How worrying is that.

It seems like a routine that they always visit the doctor. At least once a week etc for their various illnesses. I guess when someone gets older and older, all sorts of illness will arise.

Makes me really worried, cos well.. i always remembered from A level bio that once the period of rapid growth, senescence sets in and the rest will be things i will never wish to see happening in my life.

I hope the doctors can really do their job well. Somehow i've lost faith in them. Well, just look, why do my parents have to visit doctor after doctor because the previous was unable to cure them of the prob? All they said was the same old thing and well. They are only tackling the SUPERFICIAL problem. I wonder if they are really COMPETENT. Somehow i think the doctors so far are just..... lousy. mediocre for the better ones. The really good ones are.. rare and close to none i guess.

Hopefully they'll get well soon and my Dad's back will recover really really soon.

Woots

I'm always procrastinating. Not a good thing at all.

Was ATTEMPTING to cut down on my level of UNNECCESSARY fat, but end up adding to the amount that is already present.

Went out with my cousin last night and reach home at 2.30 am. Went IMM and jalan jalan a bit, but ended up eating some snacks. Then we went for SUPPER, which is a BUFFET at $7.80 at this hotel. It goes without saying that i exhibited my singaporean attitude and ate A LOT!!!

There goes my dieting plan. But well, i'm procrastinating. Shall start the next day. Only that the next day never comes. hahahahah

Sad man. Why can't fatness be the trend? It'll be a blessing for many i believe and definitely a great thing for me cos i can eat and eat without the word " FATS" lingering at the back of my head. But the thing is, i don't really eat a lot.

hahahahaha.

Anatomy is starting this week again. sian. No more early days off for me anymore. 2 weeks of anat-free days are over. sian...

And when the hell is biochem ending? It has been going on when the other lessons have at least given us a break lor. gosh.. Always information overload at the end of the week. Sian..

here's a list of what i wanna/NEED do:

1. Renal physio- reading
2.Respiration physio- reading
3. Biochem genetics- tutorial cum reading
4.Biochem collagen- tutorial cum reading
5. Oral bio ( includes many subtopics)
6. Oral bio notebook-graded
7. Dental morpho notebook-graded and urgently required
8. Dental morpho test- studying( EXTREMELY important)
9. Anat head and neck- reading

And i actually slacked 6 days off without doing any of these. Well, maybe you can say i did a little of my morpho book. haha

Off i go to start mugging again. No more slacking.

Sad.

Lazy saturday

I'm kinda like giving myself a week long holiday. Somehow, this is not a good thing. It makes me bored and lazy.

No drive to do any work at all although i have plenty to do. Being complacent.

Sign of burn out.

Oh well, today i've just spent my whole day in my own room. Pacing around, lying around, lazing around with only the radio on. No mood to go anywhere nor do anything at all.

Oh i went for XO fish-head beehoon at holland v yesterday. It's so deliciously good!!!!!! TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. But i guess i can' take alcohol, cos after i finish the bowl. i felt tipsy after that and my head felt heavy. Can't concentrate for biochem after that.

But yeah, i STRONGLY recommend that to all out there.

Kinda worried a little that i'm no longer as focused on work now. Holiday mood has strike me. Haha.. everyday feels like remedial and not actual lessons anyway.

I shall mug tonight la. Do a little morphology and read about my physio which i've left stagnant for 2 months.

But for now, i just want to be complacent cos i seldom get to do that. I need ONE day where i can just laze around doing nothing.

Will most probably be out tomorrow with cousins again, so i think maybe tonight shall be a little more productive and do some work.

Somehow, i miss orientation. I miss the fun, the people and everything la. This orientation was and still is the best that i've ever been to. Though sometimes i do worry if all of us will still keep in contact and be so closely knitted in the days, months and years to come. Outings have been drastically reduced to none already. Kinda sad, but well.. i'll make an effort to stay in contact with all, cos i really enjoy the company here much more than ... ( you know what i'm refering to).

Somehow, i'm starting to run short of things to write in my blog. Is this a good or bad thing? I dunno, but it may definitely mean that my frequency of blogging will no longer be as astonishing and alarming than before. lolz.

Right. i shall continue to slack again.

Bored

Somehow my days are just getting more and more boring. Although i jolly well know that i have 1 more month before my holidays start, i am kinda in holiday mood already.

TOTALLY no mood to mug or anything at all. Wonder if this is a good or bad sign.

A sign of being burnt out. A sign of no more drive.

I'm kinda bothered by a lot of things i feel. But i just can't figure what those things are.

This weekend is going to be so boring. I have no plans for this weekend anymore and the bad thing is that my cousins aren't free.

I guess.... i'll just stay at home. Maybe i shall attempt the gym.

I need to lose weight RAPIDLY AND SERIOUSLY for my cousin's wedding in ONE month's time. And i'm so dead cos i simply LOVE FOOD so much.

i shall hit the gym and swimming pool i guess. The bad thing is, there is none nearby.

I shall do my morpho book too.

Past

I'm feeling kinda bad now. I've been doing so many things which i should not be doing, but i keep doing them.

Not good at all. I shall exert more self discipline and make myself learn.

It's fast how the year has passed. As i think back of what i've done, i felt kinda hmm.. dunno.
I wonder if i have been doing the right thing afterall. I wonder if i have been nice to myself afterall.

As i look back throughout my 19 years, i realise.. how much i want to go back to the past. When my cousins and i were all under 1 roof and being together, having fun etc etc. It's in a month's time when my eldest cousin will get married. I'm happy for her, but somehow, there's this part of me wanting everyone to go back to the old days, a part of me not wanting her to get married. (OMG)

It's a selfish thought la. But somehow i wish things were the same as last time. i wish i have enjoyed myself more.

Somehow, i'm sad that all is over already and time doesn't wait. But i am glad that at least i was part of it.

If there is another life next time, i will want the same things to happen all over again. Everyone to be together again. I believe it's fate that brought us all into the same family.

And i thank fate for that.

Kinda bored

I should be glad that i am bored now. I SHOULD be bored, after my hectic lifestyle for so long. But still, i feel. hmmm. i finally deserve the break i've got.

Nothing interesting today, so nothing to blog about. Well.. I'm looking forward to going out tomorrow!

Yeah!

ANAT IS OVER! OVER! OVER!!

Wassup, yoyoyo.. I'm so so so happy that anat is over, finally over. It's like a stone off my chest kinda thing and i went to do some retail therapy with my cousin after that at far east plaze. Hooray!!

Bought an orange dress and a black dress. Can't imagine that i'm actually buying dresses, but i need to wait till my tan lines aren't that obvious before i wear them la. Haha. But yea, feeling so much happier now.

Oh, sometimes unglam happen in school. Was walking up the steps and i choke on my saliva and cough and kinda spew saliva. Humongous drops of it. Unglam unglam, especially when people actually saw it. But heck la, people always have their unglam times. I just have a problem with saliva sometimes. But it's so disgusting. S**T !!

But heck la, come on man, i mean, pretty girls, top models also lao sai and fart right? Can't blame me for doing that sometimes. But yucks. really makes me feel disgusting too. Lolz.

But heck, now that anat is over, i can sleep in peace tonight. Then tml will chiong to my cousin's home, then thurs will be shopping and perhaps, i'll meet Kai Siang on friday. Saturday, i'll most probably meet Ash, Eng Hong, Reg and Siew Han. Haha..

I'm so enjoying myself. I need this break before i plunge into another round of morpho and cario..

But i need to curb using my ATM card already. Not when i'm splurging like that. Not good at all.

I will leave it at home after this week. I will give more tuition. I need more money man.

Oh, btw, i went to pen my wishes today on the sphere. Wrote a lot of wishes. I saw the people reading my wishes after that. I kinda felt that it's not nice, kinda rude actually, cos some of them were commenting on other people's wishes. But well, heck la. Not as if i wrote something wrong. They can comment if they want la, just shows that maybe their level of maturity not good enough? But still, they're nice people. Only a few aren't sensitive and tactful enough.

But heck, can't be bothered. I'm just happy that my anat is over. YEAH!

Fears for anat

I wonder why i was kinda agitated just now, but well, i'm kinda starting to give up. I guess my submandibular, parotid and sublingual glands have malfunctioned. No more saliva left.

Somehow, i'm kinda worried for my anatomy test tomorrow. I have no idea why.

I've started revising kinda long ago and has been doing so rather consistently. Though i may not be able to stay up late till the time i said i wanted to, but at least i made sure i revised at least a little.

Somehow, i still don't feel prepared at all. I don't know why.

It's 3 essay questions in 1 hour. Hell. How am i going to finish it?

I'm scared. I still don't feel prepared. I don't feel confident of doing it and doing well.

I really hope my grade is reflective of the effort that i have put in. i wonder how hard the others mug for anat too though. Not that i want to compare, but somehow i would like to know if they mugged as hard as i do, so i know whether the grade i get is justified or not, or whether i'm just being dis-illusioned that i'm some hard core mugging freak.

Somehow, this blog is slowly evolving from to become my way of communicating with the rest? I don't know. I do regret what i post sometimes, cos i guess a little too hmmm. revealing of my thoughts. But it's like once you start, you can't stop kinda thing. I have no idea why too. maybe i should really learn how to practise censorship here. As in, seriously practising censorship.

Well, once again, 2 entries in 1 day. A little too much.

Amazed at how much i blog too.

Anyway,

To the birthday boy : HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ZACH!!!!! Older by 1 year le, more reasons for you to be more aunty le. haha. Hope you like the cake, though i seriously question whether qiyuan ate more or you ate more. Lolz. But i hope it's nice.

Coming up next is MAVIS's birthday. YEAH!

My blog can be more interesting and funny man. I will make it less dreadful. I find my blog too much of a ranting and too dreadful. Come on, life has to be better than that. Yes, i shall make mine colourful and beautiful and pretty-ful, and funny-ful and etc etc. Running out of vocab. Gosh.

And yes, i'm not some emo kid. Lolz.

The 2 Ws in life, i only want 1 of them.

I wonder what's wrong.

i'm kinda getting sick of ANAT!! Why why why? i can get sick of it later, but definitely not now when my test is on this tues, which is the day after tomorrow. not good, not good at all.

Well, i'm kinda happy that after tuesday, i'm finally getting a life. I shall go swimming, jogging, shopping, eating, sleeping and watching tv, at least for that rest of the week. Somehow, i've been so deprived, this is becoming my goal for this week.

Sad sia.

I shan't complain, cos i have 1 more month before another test comes and that will end this year for me.

It's fast eh? Kinda scary that this year has passed by so extremely fast. I was still working at secret recipe and now i'm in uni and ending my sem 1 already.

Thinking back on what i've done, kinda hope that time just stop. I wanna be lax lax and go for meet ups, go out with cousins, go work OTOT, go out etc etc without having the word " STUDIES" looming over me or haunting me at the back of my head.

I know i should enjoy this year, cos next year is going to be HELL for me. I know that and it'll be draining for me. What a so not good way to start the new sem, but bo bian. i look at the time table and i wanna die.

Looking back, i realised i've matured a little, in the way i think, well, that is in my own opinion, but somehow, i think i've learn to take a back seat already. It's a good feeling and i do feel much appreciative of myself, and not push myself so hard. I've come to realise that eventually everything will come to an end. No point making myself so sick of everything and feeling so unappreciative of myself. Somehow, i've learnt to be more appreciative of others too, which is a good thing. And at the same time, be more comfortable with who i am, and not try to be someone i'm not. It's tough to be always wanting to please, and i pity those who're like that cos they'll always living in someone elses's life and not their own.

I may lose courage in everything, but the least i should have is the courage to face myself.

I'm still learning how to though, but somehow as i age, it's amazing how my thoughts, my view and my way of thinking has changed.

Still amazes me how years can add wisdom and wrinkles at the same time.

TUESDAY!!!! HERE I COME!!!!!!!

Rather get it over and done with ASAP and get on with my FABULOUS plans for the weekend. Hope some dumb prof doesn't come around and throw us anymore bombshells. Lolz.

Not again...

Was talking to my mum just now and guess what.

The topic of boyfriend appeared. Being more straightforward, she asked me if i have a bf right smack in my face.

Not again, it was my dad, now my mum. At least kinda glad that my mum doesn't go around asking my cousins if i have one.

Her reason of asking was because she keep hearing my friends names from me. Come on, i mention hsiu tzu, regina and siew han's name upteen times too, why she only pay attention to guy's names?

Her reason is lame : " Well, u are so boyish and so buddy with guys, what if one day more than 1 likes u?"

My reaction : " Laugh and faints".

Yeah right, those guys interested, could you please get a number and start queuing up? Don't push and shove ah. Mai Kan Jiong. hahahahahahahahahha

Come on, you know that is not possible, but i'm amazed by her imagination at such a age.

Somehow my parents have been revolving this topic ever since i entered NUS. Come on, uni life is dry life for me. Definitely not as happening as they think it is. And definitely as dry as NJ.

Get it? As DRY as NJ. Period.

Help, i wonder how long they'll continue asking. It's not like i want a boyfriend and he'll just fall from the sky or what so ever, or whether he'll come riding on a horse ( i won't even want him if he does that, GUAI TAI goes around riding on a horse.)

Help. It's like I don't need a boyfriend, but i need a boyfriend kinda thing. Get my meaning? I am hoping that my parents won't start thinking that i am LESBIAN or something, or even attempt to start match making me.

Come on, i'm only 19, not 29, 39,49 or 59. Why are they more anxious than me?

It is definitely NOT getting on my nerves, but rather i find it too hilarious to ignore. To have your parents talking about BGR to you.

When i asked my mom y she's so anxious abt me getting attached, She denied being anxious. Rather she's more worried abt me getting cheated.

Come on. ME?! GETTING CHEATED?!

I think she needs to be more worried about the guys out there. It's more likely that I CHEAT THEM, then they cheat me. She needs to worry for them more.

Next time they ask, i will tell them i have boyfriendS already. Kinda curious about their reaction. And i'll start randomly naming people by coming up with names etc. John, Peter, Bala, Gopal, Muthu etc etc. Then i'll get siew han or any girls to call me and pretend to be lovey dovey in front of them. lolz.

My parents............ hahahahahhaahahahhaahhahahah

I simply love them.

Sian

Sian, kinda tired and this is so not good since anat is coming up. Jia lat man.

Think i shall avoid my bed at all cost. It's so alluring and dangerous. Haha.

I tink i will pon foundation course and head straight to anat hall first thing in the morning. It's conducive when there is no people there. But tml's friday and the medical students will be there la, they can get quite noisy sometimes.

And yes, sometimes i hope i can yell in the face of some of them that " I AM NOT A MEDICAL REJECT!!

But yes, there are definitely good and better people around in medicine too and i know quite a couple of them. Just some blacksheep to spoil it all. Well, i don't deny that i've seen some on my own side too.

Ok, shall mug hard for anat now, don't wanna any regrets later like what i have for my GP.

ANATOMY! HERE I COME!!!

COME TO MAMA!!! hahahahahahhhahaa

JIA YOU!