time

I've been to this page almost everyday.

But i just stared at it, clueless of what to write.

I don't want to complain and be whiny about stuff cos it's not going to help.

And it doesn't help when i keep thinking about things that will happen,

Not now, but definitely in the future.

I don't know how i'm going to deal with them,

whether i can even deal with them.

I've always wondered how much time is left.

10 years, 20 years? 30 years? 40, 50 years?

I don't know.

There's so much i want to do, i want to say.

But i have no idea how to begin and go about doing it.

Life is too short.

And i hope i didn't realise it too late.

randomness

Call me crazy..

I went to the library today.

Borrowed a few books.. but they end up to be a 'few' HEAVY books.

luckily my cousin is around.

Got him to help me carry a few.

hahahhaha.

and he told his friends that he's helping to carry things for his cousin..

imagine their reaction to see someone lugging so many books.

And it's the holidays.

hahhaahaha

Uber unglam.

Not that i've been glam before that is.

Just saw the lokn photos that my friends posted online..

U-G-L-Y.

yeah.

and i seem to have a pseudo smile.

look so fake.

eew.

Makes me seem and feel so....

pseudo?!!

haha. whatever.

envy

I'm envious.

For example...

Envious of how happening the others' life seems to be.

How much fun they seem to enjoy,

How vibrant their lives are,

Exactly the way a 20 year old should be spending.

Envious of how they can do so well and have their own life.

Envious of how young kids enjoy the attention from their parents and grand parents,

when as a kid, i didn't always have them.

Envious of how others seem to have no walls built around them and others,

But perhaps, this is exactly the reason why i'm shaped the way i am,

Moulded the way i am.

That 's what that makes me unique isn't it?

I think i need to count my blessings.

And be thankful for what i have.

Appreciate what i have,

and cherish.

Happiness is when you no longer seek to be happy.

I'll always remember what my friend told me.

On a lighter note,

Perhaps it's the weather and that i've not been drinking enough water,

Having a bit of nose bleeding episodes here.

Just last night,

I woke up because i realise i was kinda nose bleeding.

Not those waterfall kinda,

but more of trickle.

haha. right.

nose bleeding.

eew.

let me find it again.

Expected ending.

A sense of relief, but also a tinge of disappointment.

But at least for now i know i can be more focused.

To do what i do best.

To do what i want to do best.

To love what i am doing,

all over again.

That is so crucial when the rest of the year is going to be a roller coaster ride.

I hope it's an exhilarating one.

One which i will enjoy.

What ever that is about to happen.

Let me take it in my stride.

Let me remember how i felt one year ago.

Perhaps that will help.

freshie

Yeah.

I'm getting old.

I agree with zp. I'm growing out of my freshie year.

I mean.. i will NEVER ever be a freshie again.

argh.

btw, i'll be in sch rather often from now on, due to float building. rahhhhhhhhhh

SO....

if u are in sch or something,

do msg me.

can meet up for lunch or something.

And i've found 2 great books recently.

Cost me about 30 plus.

1. The lact lecture ( randy paush)
2. The alchemist ( paulo coelho )

lag net

my internet is getting slow..

it is irritating me.

lag.

roller coaster!!!!!

Perhaps i'm thinking too much.

I need to get focused soon.

I don't know what i'm looking for, what i want.

I have no idea what i should prepare myself for.

It's going to be a roller-coaster ride.

Ups and downs.

Let me learn to handle them well.

And hopefully in the journey, find out what's my meaning in life and what i am really looking for.

I don't want the principle of self-fufilling prophecy to happen again.

And hopefully i will not let myself fall into it again.

But right now, i don't know where i am heading to.

Year 2 soon. scary

Ooooo

Happy.

Eager.

Excited.

Nervous.

Scared.

Uncertainty.

Oooo so overwhelming.

I don't know what i'm feeling now already.

Be it good or bad, i shall just wait and see.

Though i know it's just most probably a false alarm.

Heh.

history

I don't want history to repeat itself.

Especially when the consequences are undesirable.

random

Random.

I'm starting to enjoy being random.

Random thoughts.

Random emotions.

Random actions.

Sometimes it's good to be random.

Helps me remain sane.

Staying sane amidst the insanity.

Fuzzy Wuzzy

Fuzzy fuzzy..

I don't know what i want.

I don't know what i am looking for.

Fuzzy fuzzy.

I need some sleep.

And i love the sewing machine.

For not throwing tantrums at me when i was rushing the pre-camp stuff.

I'm loving it.

Tada-da-da-da

haha

3 more years

I want more time.

To do what i want to do.

To have time for myself, my family and my friends.

To really have a holiday.

To get a life.

Somehow,

I always don't have enough time for all these.

Time is always not enough, you got to make time.

But no matter how hard i try to make time,

I'm always packed with stuff back to back.

How?

3 more years.

And i will be free.

Just tolerate for 3 more years.

Just 3.

Seems so far away.

I wonder... Charisma

Charisma.

Powerful stuff.

How do you define it fully?

How do you describe it entirely?

Something to be experienced and seen.

But not something to be easily grasped.

Charisma.

I know Audrey Hepburn has it.

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

I wonder.

Wonderful beautiful

Been thinking about the trip.

Really glad that i made the choice to go.

Made many new friends,

Got to know many nice and wonderful people.

Had an absolutely fun time there.

Everything seems to be an experience on itself.

Saw things i'll never see in singapore,

Felt emotions i'll never feel if i've not been there and saw things with my own eyes.

This is what a holiday should be.

An experience.

Bubbly

Colbie Callate's Bubbly is a nice song.

OOoooooo..

Nice nice.

argh. there goes my holidays

Alright.

I'm back and guess what.

There's float building to do.

And i'm from logistics com.

Now i'm lost at what i need to do etc and i'm kinda sick of going back school.

And i mean SICK.

And guess what.

I'm also confused about when i'm suppose to build float etc.

All stuff seems so disorganised.

irritates me.

I'm anal about things working properly.

:)

The trip has been so fun.

I'm craving for fishhead curry.

back

i'm finally back.

few hours time

Going to fly off soon, in just a few hours time.

Somehow, i'm no longer as excited as i thought before.

i wonder why, perhaps all the rushing and tests and etc has taken its toil on me, making me kinda sick of all these.

maybe i'm worried i may get home sick and worry about how things are back here.

Perhaps i'm afraid of the flight.

I don't know.

Just a little apprehensive of things, but i can't seem to put a word to it.

Hopefully i will enjoy my trip.

And find it a meaningful one.

And hopefully,

things will run smoothly and well here at home.

soon

Soon soon.

Saturday's coming soon.

But somehow, a part of me is no longer that keen to go.

Maybe it's all the hassle going on all these while.

I'm kinda tired and i need my rest.

Don't really feel like travelling there.

I just want to have enough sleep.

Nightmares have been disturbing my precious sleep.

Frightening.

hectic

Hectic day.

Tomorrow's gonna be crazy too.

Collect poster at bugis and go sgh to collect pdts.

Siao siao.. must chiong after sch.

and i have 2 tests on wed.

gdluck to myself man.

I haven't even remembered the stuff for first aid. I can't fail it la, if not i'll have to take it a second time and i'll have lesser time to do my logistics stuff which is after sch on wed.

And that means i'll reach home later and hence sleep later.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

And i just got informed by Nick, that we'll go out on wed to source for stuff for logistics for FOP.

RARRRRR.

And guess wad, i slept at 3.30am last night. waking at 6.30am today.

tired from doing all the cambodian translations word for word after sam found this rather gd webby. And we commenced work like close to 12 am?

haha.

lucky today still got a bit of energy.

but tomorrow ah..

i wonder.

got to stay up late again tonight to mug for Glass Ionomer cement seminar tml.

Prof chew cancelled today's one cos apparently, not many came prepared. Shucks, i should have joined prof Hien's seminar group like what matthew did. Apparently it's gd and well, i guess i've missed out on the gd stuff, considering the fact that he's very into GIC and is a co-author of a book regarding GIC.

hai.

Gonna be a hectic day tomorrow. Hopefully at least i'll have a bit of time for lunch.

Today's meal was merely a packet of choc milk at 1pm and a can of pocari at 6.30 pm.

If i can lose weight from this, i don't actually mind though.

lolz.

My to do list.

Jia lat.

Nothing about human resource seems to be entering my brain.

And i'm having this splitting headache.

Just did a bit of wax up over the weekend.

And haven completed my occlusal equilibration lab work.

Haven't prepare for dental materials tooth coloured restoration seminar.

Haven't remember my first aid course test materials.

Haven't read my tooth coloured restoration notes.

Haven't finish packing my backpack and buy the neccessary stuff.

Haven't pay Sam 300 plus for the air fare.

Haven't settle logistics for trip.

Haven't collected stuff from SDA at SGH.

What a pleasant week ahead.

Wish me luck.

Faint.

Just as i finish this entry and is doing some other stuff, i received a call.

Due to miscommunication problems, i printed one poster short.

Meaning, i will have to go down to bugis tomorrow to get it printed and also print 50 copies of A4 posters by tomorrow lunch.

Haha.

Lucky me..