Wednesday

my nasal voice is back and getting worse, well, it's not that i detest it, but it does makes me more sleepy than before. haha

Anyway, today went to buy 3 packs of strawberries from the science bazaar. Man, they're good lor. It's really fresh, in a bright red hue, and the appearance is almost flawless, without any signs of fungal infection or parts where they're starting to rot etc. Really a great buy. Hmm, too bad today is last day, if not i would have bought more again tomorrow. Really wanted to try the grapes. Initially wanted to buy 2 to support Zach and Qiyuan. Then i went back and bought 1 more cos they're really not bad.

I'm kinda starting to live a normal student's life since for this week and next, i will not be having anatomy. But this thing is, i'll only get to enjoy early days after next tues, that is after my anat test cos i really need to mug. Reached home at 1.30 today.

Shit man. went to sleep till about 7.

Guess i'm really tired.

I shall mug till 3.30 tonight to make up for it. Then tomorrow after lessons chiong to anat hall till 5 or something before i go home. Or maybe i shall attempt the library.

I'm really having no life. Somehow after talking to Nick today, i realise he's hmm. kinda impressed ( or amazed? whatever the word is) at how much drive i have at studying. He's not the first one to ask me whether i'm glad to be in dentistry. i told him that it was the thing for me la, and i just told him that sometimes i wonder how i get so much drive too. It scares me a little sometimes, but i guess when u're doing something u are really into, you just give all you have.

Compeition is no longer the thing pushing me forward to study anymore, it's more like an interest of mine and a goal of mine that is pushing me i guess. Cos i don't really give a darn thing about who wants my notes etc. I mean, i'll be happy to lend them to anyone, provided that they are sincere and truthful towards me. I know who these people are and i know who those insincere people are. It's the feeling they give you i suppose, and well, the look on their faces tells it all doesn't it? As long as they are really being truthful i am not against lending them my stuff.

But well, once in a while it does gets too much and it does gets on my nerves too when the reasons they do not attend lecture are really ............ i wouldn't want to support things which aren't right.

Aiyah, i guess we meet all sorts of people in the world, some good, some bad, some sincere, some just trying to check out what u're doing and aim to beat u. Whatever these people are, i heck la. Shall just do my own stuff.

Kinda happy that i'm having wax-ups tomorrow. U know what?!! The instructor praised me in front of my friend for being able to do a gd one and is those rare few who can do rather well!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!

Kinda amazed at why he said that.

But i don't deny that i felt happy within. Not that i am getting proud or complacent, but i mean such things just makes u more focused on your goals. Actually i can't believe it when i heard my friend say that too. I was like.. sure or not?! Don't bluff la. haha

A definite good morale booster after A levels and NJ where i always felt lousy etc no matter how hard i worked.

Yesh. i shall mug harder for anatomy now. shall read my notes and 1 book. if possible, i shall read Martini or snell too.

JIAYOU everybody!

Wassup

As expected, my group was chosen to be the 1st 4 to present. Come on, not really fair sia, but yes, at least it is over and done with. I won't say we did a good job, that is to my expectations. But generally almost everyone in the group worked really hard for it. But i suppose the lack of time to search for stuff and prepare for the presentation is the thing that we all lack.

But well, nothing else to do already. Life's never fair, just blame it on our luck i guess, to get such a sucky topic and be chosen to be the 1st to present. I mean, look, the other groups' topics are more direct and they have tons of info online or anywhere. But mine? " Amazing tooth", gosh, how vague can that be?

Heck. Over already.

Anyway, kinda feeling a little guilty, cos promised to help Qiyuan and Zach buy fruits from the science stall, but too lazy to walk there from the library. but well, i'm having lessons there tml and i shall make sure i buy from them. Why not right? Fruits are healthy and i'm helping my friends too!

Ok, met kenneth at the library just now. Haha. we are all muggers. Yes, and i shall mug more tml. Didn't really do as much as i would like to today. Not good at all.

I will mug tonight, i guess i'm really becoming a mugger. HARDCORE mugger that is. Quite sad, but nothing wrong with that. After this 4 years, i'll be FREE!!!

Kinda sad that i've not really had a life other than mugging and mugging and mugging, not to say working as well. but it's like each time i wanna give my self a break, i'll start feeling useless and lazy and etc just after 1 week.

No joke, i can't stay stagnant and not being a contributing member of the family or say society. I have no idea why. I just can't seem to slow myself down. It has become more like a habit of mine than anything else and it is not healthy nor good. To think about it, i only "sort of" rested for 1 month after A levels before i found a job and started working all the way till before SOW orientation and the rest is history la. Mugging non-stop and nothing else.

I'm weird, I'm a Guai Tai and i know it too. But i dunno why i'm like that. Isn't it a normal thing for people to be lazy?

I wanna be lazy too. I wanna slack and do nothing all day. But i guess, the grass is always greener on the other side. Whenever i'm busy, i wanna slack. But when i'm slacking, i hope i'm doing something productive.

I'm a guai tai. i don't deny. I agree too.

Don't worry, hanging around with me doesn't make u a guai tai.

Kinda starting to think whether in the future, i'll be able to find someone who is able to accept this aspect of me. Cos if not, i guess he'll feel very uptight all the time and stressed out. He won't be able to breathe at all. It wouldn't really be fair since i will always focus on work, which i foresee myself doing. But well, that is in the future, so heck la. Too early to talk about such things now.

Come on, i'm ONLY 19. not 29 or 39 or 49. But that doesn't mean i will still want to say this when i'm at that age. Lolz.

oh yes, i want to get my own apartment. It's just a fantasy, but i'll aim for that.

Build my little corner for the rainy days to come.

Yes, it is a fantasy. haha