Smile :)

I've been feeling this way for sometime.

Weird.

I cannot explain why.

I have all that i need, all that i wanted.

I am contented.

But something is missing.

I am unhappy.

Don't ask me why.

Don't attempt to guess.

Cos it's something i cannot explain myself too.

It's not stress.

I'm not being emo or what.

I detest the word " emo" in fact.

3 letters can never mean much, especially when it involves emotional stuff.

I don't want to reduce my feelings to just 3 letters.

It's like a description for adolescence who are just having raging hormones and thinking too much of the opposite sex, leading to too many troubles of the heart.

I've grown out of that stage.

Though i can be childish at times.

But i know that life is more than just the opposite sex. Definitely much more.

What i'm experiencing, i do not know.

Perhaps i just don't know myself well enough.

To the extend that i need someone else to tell me that i've not been seen smiling or laughing in front of them.

But then, who really knows themselves?

Sometimes i wonder why i work so hard.

Is it to distract myself, to make myself seem important, to make myself happy, to make others happy or what.

But how can i make others happy when i'm not?

It's heart wrenching to sometimes see people smile when you clearly know that they are bleeding inside, and i know it's even worse for those feeling that way.

I ponder and i wonder.

Whether the people now are actually happier than they use to be in the 1950s and 60s.

Perhaps this is another phase of my life that i have to get through.

Been told and heard that 4 years is gonna be tough. I didn't take it to heart, thinking that A levels is the worse i can get.

My belief is begining to falter. Perhaps, they are right.

Though i've been trying to convince myself that this is not so.

But at the back of my head, i am preparing for the worse to come.

It's like an overwhelming feeling that i'm having.

And it's not positive stuff.

What is it?

I have no idea.

Shall wait and see.

Smile. :)

Anyway, tokyo kosei is so good. Their tone is superb.

Listening to them makes me melt. seriously