argh

Back from camp.

It's just alright.

Not exactly fantastic, but still bearable.

I mean, i must really give credit to the camp com people for working so super hard for this. Could really tell that they've put in a lot of effort, time, energy into it and i could sense that they were quite stressed.

Somehow...

I'm just disappointed. With the reaction of some juniors, for asking me what's the point of having certain events when they feel that it's a waste of time.

So dissappointing, cos the seniors put in so much effort, bear with their pee for 10 bloody hours, fed their blood to mozzies and lost their voice, got stranded in the rain.

And i really wonder y there doesn't seem to be a wee bit of appreciation.

Rudeness was what i encountered a couple of times.

BUt i mean, there are always black sheeps around, so i shouldn't discount the rest of the freshies for their enthu. I know they're quite shagged and quite bored from the waiting. But well, sometimes, things are always changing and there's nothing we can do sometimes but to wait for further instructions and not create more headache for the leaders as they sort things out.

And, i'm also disappointed with some other people too.

Totally not prepared, and last minute. Never plan what they got to prepare, and then in the last minute, calls have to be made etc to purchase stuff. I seriously wonder why can't they be more prepared. It just adds on to the already existing problems. And it seriously doesn't help when most of the times when help is rendered, only more troubles occur.

And it doesn't help to have someone feeling pissed with you on the last day. But well, since i can't figure out what's wrong, i don't bother. Cos i really can't think of anything which i did wrongly. All i had in my mind was to get everything settled nicely and neatly, so that things run smoothly and efficiently.

But well,

this trip also made me know my classmates more, made better friends with a few of them. As in, i seriously think that perhaps i'm just kinda cocked up back then.

Like what i said: i've got to remove the speck of dust from my eye before i can see others more clearly. i'm just too concerned with my own speck of dust last time, that i missed out the chance of hanging out with nice people. I mean these people are great. Just that i'm too affected by the black sheeps i supposed. And well, that's my bad.

Somehow i wish that my class is not as cliquish as it is now. Sometimes, i feel that it's to the extend of being a little exclusive. But hmmm. heck, i need my freedom and i'm happy.

Overall,

i think there's really a lot of hardwork and effort put into this whole thing and though some people may not exactly appreciate it, i think i'll just let it be.

Sometimes i really think that my fetish for perfectionism makes me a super anal control freak. To the extend that i try to do most things by myself and get it done asap. I do things for a reason and i like to think 5 steps ahead. The problem is i do things for a reason but i don't say the reason. Perhaps that's what that makes me look like a control freak. But i mean, knowing your things and where they are is better than having to ask many people before you can find a bowl or something. At least i know where the things are and how many and where i can find them.

I suppose sometimes it makes people misunderstand me. Makes me look too domineering and work-driven. I don't deny the fact. But then, i guess at least i make sure things don't go wrong as much as i can. And i make sure i don't add on to existing problems.

What ever the other says.. i think if i'm sure that i'm not guilty of doing anything sorry to anyone, i'll don't have to care about what others think. If i don't think i've done anything wrong, i'll just be myself.

tired.

gotta sleep. lessons tml.

i must salute the ex-co and the camp com. seriously