Somehow, blogging has kinda become a daily necessity of my life. i just feel weird not blogging.
Well, today ah.. went school at 9 plus for biochem lecture which is supposed to end at 12.30. But halfway into the lecture, the bulb of the projector went off with a "PONG" !!!
That marks the end of our lecture for today. And i kinda rot in school till 2 for my anatomy lecture.
Not really productive man.
ENTIRELY a waste of my time. You guys know how much i hate to waste time. And this is so not good.
Had cario meeting, but end up.. talking crap. It's funny how the guys talk and well, had a good laugh over small chat.
Reach home and finish most of my morpho book. just left a little bit, almost 95% done.
Wa. super proud of it.. i put so much effort into it lor.. gosh.. kinda amazed by myself. Hope i get a good grade for it, though my book looks a little kian chai, cos i wrote a lot, flipped a lot and pasted a lot of pictures into it.
Somehow my parents knew i was doing this notebook, and was kinda amazed by what my Dad said to me during dinner. A bit stunned to hear him say that la, but i will make sure i protect myself while stil being nice. Not good to be used by people.
While i don't make use of people, i will protect myself and not be used by people. But well, if people want to make use of you, how the hell you know in the first place? They'll be super nice leh. but well, i think self-protection is still important lah, and i just try to distant myself from people whom i know are superficial and what not. Shan't name names here. But yeah, sometimes the more you try to distant, the more you find them approaching you. wonder why they don't get it... but heck, shall siam as far as i can.
Actions speak louder than words.
Today's the 21 Nov already. in 2.5 weeks' time, Jie Jie will get married. Hai. Mixed feelings about that. Just hope that everything is still like how we were when we were kids back in the 1980s.
And today, i realise quite some people in my class thinks that i'm smart and dexterious. Don't really like that. Not that i am being humble, or trying to act humble. I just don't feel comfortable. I just don't like un-necessary attention. I don't like to have people saying such things, when apparently there are many many more who are smart and also do well, but just keep a low profile.
I never do anything too, but kena this. Not my favorite, not the attention i want.
My intention was to remain as un-noticed as much as possible the 1st time i saw them. Definitely not this. I want to stay in my little corner and do my stuff, recieve little comments and be comfortable with what i do.
No pressure, no stress, no need to entertain anyone nor feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes, i'm trying my best to do sneak away as much as i can after lessons etc, definitely not having people suaning you and making a fuss over me asking the Prof stuff after lessons. I don't like this kind of suaning.
I mean, we are all the same, just whether you put in effort, you mug hard or not. No difference, why do they have to say such things. The most ridiculous was that one of them told me i was like perfect, cos gd with studies and lab. Couldn't believe my ears.. Nice to hear that, but well, that is not a fact. I mean DEFINITELY not. iI just work hard, don't really like it when people just comment things like that, as in though it's a good thing, but you kena SUAN rather often. Quite sick and tired sometimes, my effort is like non-existant.
But it's not bothering me too much la. Cos well, i know at least i'm normal and i appreciate my own effort. Self satisfaction is sufficient.
But yeah, shall focus on Morpho studying now. been procrastinating for a long long time. Shall do so this very minute and CHIONG for morpho. I shall find a mugging corner and hide there as much as i can, do my own things, be myself, be comfy and be less irritated and disturbed by people i want to minimise contact with.
Bleah. hungry and tired. I realise i've got so much to complain. Loads of discontentment when i should be happy and grateful for what i have.
Not a good sign. incessant complaining makes me whiny. Not good, not good at all.
Shall make it a point to change that. yeah
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