Obligations- Eeks

I realise i am really a little too independent. My need of personal space is expanding. This need has been much bigger than normal people and somehow is it ever increasing.

I don't think it is being anti-social. Perhaps, i just like to be an individual with little obligations.

I detest obligations. I don't like to do things because i OUGHT to, because that is the norm or simply because i'm supposed to behave a certain manner simply just to fit in.

But hey, i'm not unfriendly. I only allow people i'm closer to, into my space.

That takes time.

Perhaps that's why i don't like to hang out in groups like normal girls does. I don't want to give myself more obligations and i absolutely don't like peer pressure at all.

I like to be free to be who i want to be. I believe my life is mine to lead.

I hate to be tied down. I see no point in reporting to anyone where i am because i am SUPPOSED to be always with particular people.

I guess i'm acting more and more like a freak. I don't deny i am a freak.

Gosh, i may one day simply turn into Shrek and burp non-stop. Worse still, fart non-stop. ( Maybe this is good, cos i can make sure i kill all lizards with my fart.)

I am starting to dislike having my handphone with me. It seems like i have an obligation to reply to smses and calls because that is what is EXPECTED.

No. i want to freedom to choose what to say and who to talk to. I don't want to have the obligation of having to answer because i ought to. Freedom of speech. i wonder if that includes the freedom to talk when i want to.

It simply irks me when people sms me EXTREMELY late at past midnight, continuously before tests to ask me about simple concepts and stuff easily found in lecture notes. I hate to have people asking me about nitty gritty stuff like the venue, time for lessons( when by right it is common sense since MONTHS have passed since the semester has started). And i hate it when people simply don't check their emails or ivle and ask me what notes to print, what will be taught tml etc.

I HATE it. Ownership of own learning. Responsibility to oneself. Non-existant.

I dislike it when people take me for granted like that. Not to include the refusal to bring own water bottle, paper and eraser, as well as the non-stop borrowing of lecture notes( mind you, not in 1 or 2 copies, but in terms of 1 or 2 whole chapters- stacks of notes)

Maybe i'm too independent, that's why i can't stand it. But well, repeated reminders seems futile.

I give up.

I need a lot of personal space. Many knows and respect that.

I am thankful for that understanding.

At the same time, i am thankful to SINGTEL for giving me poor reception and service cos it means that i don't receive smses often when i'm supposed to. I take it as a blessing now that i don't have to see so many of irritating smses. Reduces my obligations.

But i am taking that a little step further too.

Proud to announce: I shall NOT bring my handphone to school. Though not everyday, but i will bring it to school as and when i feel like it. I don't want my handphone to give me additional obligations.

Final word: I hate obligations.

P.S: the above is written in a casual cynical tone. DEFINITELY NOT fierce nor pissed. And i do not hold shares in SINGTEL. Mentioning of SINGTEL in the above blog entry is not an attempt to advertise this brand nor its services. Once again, i do not hold shares in singtel, or at least, that is what i think.