Right, i did the test again, i suppose it really depends on your mood day to day. Here's the results for me TODAY. It's long, so ya, happy reading if u bother. Somehow i find it so true for me for that part which says that i want to do my own thing and decides what is best for myself. It is so so so true for my current situation on dentistry regarding certain matters. SO true.
You are in a state of constant expectation and want interesting and exciting things to happen to you. But in fact, you are a 'Walter Mitty' at times - a dreamer - over-imaginative and often given to fantasy or day-dreaming. There is nothing wrong in 'dreaming' - how boring life would be if one just followed the doctrines of everyday life - but one must not continue leading a life of continuous fantasy. You need to face reality in spite of all its possible shortcomings.You are working extremely hard - perhaps even above and beyond the call of duty. You are preparing for the future and therefore trying to build a firm trouble-free foundation upon which you may base all of your dreams and aspirations.
You are very demanding - and insisting on total involvement but you do not reciprocate with the same depth of feeling. However, it could well be that maybe an unprecedented surprise is awaiting you in the near future. For just as one whilst paddling in the sea, could flounder into a whirlpool, so you may be drawn into a loving situation that has high emotional demands - and you could well respond with a depth of emotion that you never even dreamed that you possessed.You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it.
You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.
Just went youtube to see the rag day videos once again, that was like the upteen times i've watched it that i lost track already. Somehow i find myself always feeling much better after watching it. I dunno why. I suppose it's because it brings back really wonderful memories and the times i've had with CSI and people from SOW. Somehow it just gives me a sense of security in the midst of the madness that i am in now and i always feel much better after watching it. I feel like i belong there and not where i am now.
But yes, i have never regretted my choice. I remembered that after getting my A lvl results, i told Mr Almighty up there, that no matter how tough it is going to be, i will make sure i make it through the 4 years of BDS, in the event i get in. I didn't and i was so depressed. I wondered why he did that to me initially since i worked really really hard for it, carved like dunno how many plasters, moulded 20 odd tooth, bend hard and thin wires till my fingers hurt, work and went for intern, read like numerous stuff about dentistry etc etc. I thought he was being unfair, cos it seemed like things always don't go to those who really want and worked for it isn't it? But i realise i was wrong after that. I admit i detested science initially, it was like more of a place to house me cos other than that, there's no where i can go for my next 4 years. I hated my new faculty initially, cos it wasn't what that i've worked so damn hard for ever since J1, it doesn't match the amount of work, stress etc that i went through and i was so depressed that i couldn't talk about it. Life was just NOT fair. I lost faith then.
Maybe that was his way of making me realise that things never always come easy for me and that was his way to make me understand and cherish opportunities more. Perhaps, that was his way of telling me not to be complacent and not take things for granted. Maybe it was his plan all these while to let me get into science first before twisting my fate and let me enter dentistry. Maybe it was his way of showing me that fate does exist between people and that it is fate that brings people from all over the place together. I guess he wanted to let me go through something that will change my life dramatically and i suppose that was his way of making me learn and be more mature. I don't know what Mr Almighty has in mind for me. But i am glad for all the arrangements that he has made thus far, cos without that twist, i would never have entered science and met so many fabulous people, nor would i also have the chance of entering dentistry and doing what i've always longed to do..
What ever that it, i am happy that what has happened, happened. It is sad that i can't turn back time and experience what the good times again, but i'm happy that at least i was part of it.
In some sense, i need to be contented that i've got the best of 2 worlds and it is now that i understand that whatever i am going through now, inside and outside, is part of what i have to fulfill since i made a vow with Mr Almighty. This is just how he makes me learn to appreciate and be more mature in thoughts.
In some sense, i got the best of 2 worlds.
Another long entry to end my october saturday and to start my october sunday.
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